Avenger Escapades ➸ Reader//Avengers

Journeys End (I. Prevalence)

If Bill Gates can encourage the world to build a better toilet... Then I can finish this book.

-- Some Language coming your way this chapter. --

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The facility was quiet. Too quiet, in fact. Shouldn't there be cheering for the big game? Or the unmistakable chattering of her teammates? The former assassin's instincts coupled with years of intense training took over as she cautiously made her way to the living quarters, footsteps barely audible and senses on high alert. But what awaits her is an entirely different ball game. This may be even worse than she imagined, because her brain took a few minutes to comprehend the facinating scene in front of her.

Everyone... Is unresponsive.

In a unresponsive food coma, that is.

"I really don't see how this is a party, either." She sighed, partly in relief that no one is harmed, partly because most of the food is still available.

Clint abruptly yelled the lines to the opening of Lion King, only to start snoring softly a minute later. Steve mumbled a response, which doesn't make any sense because it's intelligible, and resumed his napping. Thor appears to be in a food 'coma' as well but is humming merrily regardless. Wanda is strangely ignoring them all in favor of a holiday special, not even a greeting is said. Loki is no where to be found as usual, and Tony, man of the hour 24/7, is abnormally absent at a party, which means he's either dead or...yeah. He's probably dead. There's also a man dressed totally in red and black helping himself to a second plate of Turkey while cracking jokes at Web Head's expense, although, Peter is not having it and tells him off.

"You guys know I brought pie, right?" Thor groaned at the mention of dessert, tried to get up, and flopped back on the couch. No one else so much as twitched.

She shook her head and set the pie down. Sure, this was normal. This is sane. Why did she ever think there was any real danger?

"Ah ha!" Loki appeared suddenly, to no one's surprise.

"Did you have something to do with this?"

"Yes. Yes, I did. I predicted you would bring the pie, but this is the year that I finally get my deserved share. This is the year no one dares push me out of the way," Loki shot a glare pointedly at Thor who gave a 'humph' noise. "This is THE year that I finally get a slice of that sweet, ravishing, delectable little pumpkin pie!"

"Loki. Calm down. I feel like you're seconds away from cackling." Though her tone is teasing, she didn't realize he had such an elaborate plan for a simple piece of pie. "You may want to get that bit of... drool there. Yeah. Got it."

"I do not cackle. That is a very movie villain thing to do." He folded his arms, disdain written across his features. "But I see you have arrived with it."

"Did you think it magically appeared? I have pie duty."

"I know full well it isn't magic, mere mortal," He said, getting in her personal space and smirking.

"You tried, Lo." She responded with a smirk of her own and flicked his nose. "All right, what spell did you use on the food? Can you reverse it?"

"Spell?" Loki snickered, still rubbing his sore nose. "I only gave them Turkey."

"... You're serious."

"Quite. My bro - Thor, is especially receptive to it. How do you think he was tricked so easily? Ninety percent of the time food was involved. You shouldn't believe everything the history books tell you."