Wicked Distractions [Completed]

Chapter 18 - Dealing

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He found her upstairs in a bedroom polishing a wicked looking knife. She had headphones in and her back was turned. Her long dark hair was brushed to one side and still wet from her shower. She was wearing a simple black tank top and jeans. But, damn it if just the look of her made him want to take her in his arms and never let go.

He shook his head to clear the direction his thoughts were going.

Dean took a few hesitant steps into the room before she realized he was there. She gave him an unsure half smile and popped her headphones out.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"Hey." He replied, feeling like a shy little boy.

She sighed and leaned against the wall.

"Well, this is awkward."

His brow furrowed at her statement.

"Why's that?"

She shrugged. "Never mind."

"Oh, okay." He looked around the room as he sat on the edge of the bed.

She sighed deeply. "I was just listening to this song... and it made me think of you and then there you were.."

He looked up at her. "What was the song?"

"It's not really your style."

"Can I hear it?"

She tapped her phone a couple times and turned her back to him as the song started.

She was right, it wasn't his usual style of music. But he listened to the lyrics.

"I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions
I can't see them clearly

I don't care; no, I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do

I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here

Go ahead, tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide, and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden

And I have the skill, yeah, I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here

Go ahead, tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same

In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same

Go ahead, say it - you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same"

They sat in silence for a few moments after the song ended. His mind was running in circles. He had no idea what to say to her. He could see why she would think of him.

Finally, he broke the awkward silence in the only way he knew how, humor.

"If anything, I ran away from you."

She smiled sadly at him. "Because I scarred your heart."

His brow furrowed again.

"I hate it when you do that. You look so sad and confused."

He gestured at her and raised his eyebrows. "I mean..."

"I know. I told you I'm sorry. And I know that'll never be enough. But, whatever happens I'm here and I'll take what I can get. I don't deserve forgiveness for the things I've done to you or anyone."

Dean stood up quickly.

"You're wrong, Faith. We're more than our mistakes. Even I know that. I can't promise you anything. Honestly, I'm pretty damn confused about you being here now. But, you are here and we can't let this distract us. You and me, we're better than that. Stronger than this. I see the same stubbornness and determination in your eyes that I see in the mirror. We are far from defenseless. Scared maybe. But that hasn't stopped you before has it?"

She shook her head no. "Hell no."

"Alright. I got a trip to make." He turned to leave, knowing they weren't completely done talking. But, talking with her just now cleared enough of his mind to focus on his meeting with Death.

"Dean, wait." He could hear the forced resolve in her voice.

He turned back to look at her just as her arms flew around him. This took him by surprise but after a moment's hesitation his arms came around her tiny waist.

His eyes closed as he tightened his grip on her. The flowery scent of her shampoo overwhelmed his senses.   Her skin was so soft but firm under the thin fabric of her shirt.

He heard her sigh deeply before she released him. Her searching, dark eyes found his calm gaze.

"You got this." She said matter of factly.

He nodded slowly and turned on his heel before he gave into the urge to reach out and taste her.