Love Me Crazy

12. Going Way Down

There hadn't been a time before this that I had felt so utterly and regrettably alone. I guess I shouldn't complain. I had always enjoyed being alone. That way, I could think however I wanted to. I could laugh into the air for no good reason. I could touch things and not feel ashamed for doing so. I could smile at random dust particles skirting their way down the tile. I could simply do anything I pleased when I pleased and how I pleased.

But right now, I wanted nothing of that unwavering life. All I wanted was for someone to come to me and just be there. And I didn't want them to be around for any other reason. I just wanted them…for me…and only me.

"What a selfish thought," I murmured into the empty hallway, "Selfish…selfish and more selfish."

I clutched my knees, my legs pressing up against my chest. Then I rested my head, waiting for free period to be over. What a funny concept: waiting for free period to be over. I had never been so bored. Or maybe, it was that I was so bored, I couldn't think of time when I was any more bored.

I didn't want to hang with my "friends". Leon wasn't talking to me. I expected as much. And then…I didn't. Somehow, I believed treating him like dirt would mean nothing. I was most cruelly mistaken.

And since Leon didn't talk to me, neither did the others. For, Melody and Ryan were a twosome. And Vida and Harry got along quite well. Leon was the one I had and I was lost to him.

So I sat here, alone, pondering all the selfishness I had bathed in thus far. It made me feel really grimy. I almost wanted to cry.

"What's wrong?"

I looked down into the depths of the hallway and smiled. It was Harry. And for that moment, it seemed as if someone had indeed missed me.

"Where is everybody?" I murmured, looking beyond him.

"What's wrong?" he just repeated; a smirk on his round face.

I shook my head. I rarely spoke to Harry and when I did, it usually consisted of him commenting on my "features". Then Vida would slap him for being such pervert and our conversation was over. But right now, he seemed rather open. But I didn't know where to start, especially not with him. Maybe I could begin with my slit hand; or maybe with my father. Leon…Bastion…who knew?

"A lot of things," I truthfully replied, "Just a lot of…of…"

"Shit," Harry finished knowingly before a chuckle of mirth.

"Yeah…that," I said, giggling myself.

I stared down at my corroding ring. I frowned. It had once been a lovely silver little thing. Now, it was only a shell of its beauty. I felt rather dumb after that. I had bigger problems then a stupid, fake ring.

"Leon thinks…nevermind," Harry said out of no where. My head literally ran into his face, bewilderment on my anxious expression.

"He thinks what?!" I almost yelled, "I mean…I mean…"

"He thinks you're too shy."

I rolled my eyes as I lazily turned from Harry and back to resting my heavy head on my knees. Finding a comfortable position, I glanced at Harry's blank eyes. I rolled my eyes again, thinking of the words he had just spoken.