Sugarplums and Second Chances

Chapter Thirteen

Chase bolted awake. What time was it? He glanced at the clock, relieved it showed five forty-seven a.m. Courtney hadn't left yet, had she? He shot out of bed, peeked out the window and sighed in relief that her car was parked in the drive. It meant he still had a chance. And he wasn't going to botch it this time.

After a quick shower, he toweled off his hair and threw on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved T-shirt. Then he tiptoed downstairs and brewed a pot of coffee. He had some thinking to do before she woke up.

Courtney had been dealt a series of heavy blows, and he wasn't about to let her leave here as tired and lonely as she'd arrived. Although it was risky, he was determined to be the friend she needed, even if it meant a lifetime of only being pen pals.

Did he want more?

Yes.

But he'd accept her decision.

He just prayed he could get through to her someday and win her love. It might take years, but he had the rest of his life to try.

He poured a mug of coffee, slipped his feet into shoes and went out onto the deck. A fresh coat of snow covered everything. He stared out at the evergreens dusted with sparkling snow. Everything around him shimmered in white. Stunning.

Lord, help me find the right words to say to Courtney. Don't let my selfish impulses take over. Let me be like You.

The swoosh of the patio door startled him. He looked over his shoulder. Courtney slowly walked toward him.

A wave of love almost knocked him over. Her hair was loose, her face free from makeup. She wore a white sweater, dark jeans, and boots. Her face looked pinched, worried. He braced himself for whatever she was about to say.

"Merry Christmas Eve," she said.

Hadn't expected that. He nodded, trying not to appear too earnest or intense. "Merry Christmas Eve."

Neither spoke for a few moments. How should he broach the subject? He knew what he needed to tell her, but he didn't have the words. Finally, he took a deep breath, set his mug on the rail, and turned to face her.

"I'm sorry, Courtney. I shouldn't have dumped all my feelings on you last night, and I certainly shouldn't have pressured you to change your plans. I know this move to Indianapolis wasn't easy for you to make. You deserve a fresh start down there. I was selfish."

She blinked, clearly surprised.

"You didn't dump your feelings on me, Chase. We've both been fighting it since I arrived. I don't think either of us can deny our chemistry."

He shifted his jaw. "I hope you don't think it's merely a physical thing for me. It's more. Much more. It's your soul—who you are—that I'm attracted to. In love with. I know you don't want to hear it, and I don't blame you. But, I have something more to say."

She hugged herself.

"Before I go on, though, I need to tell you the truth about the day I went after Len."

Her eyes widened.

"I'd hired a private investigator when he'd skipped bail. The police couldn't find him. My investigator did." He clenched his jaw. "I drove up to the Upper Peninsula, saw him standing in the driveway, and I lost it. I drove my truck right into him."

"Oh, Chase."

"The impact threw him to the ground. When I saw him holding his leg in agony, I realized what I'd become. A monster, Courtney. An absolute monster."