voiceless | s.sw

i love you enough,

It was a rainy afternoon when she decided to stroll outside. Weird but she loves rain. She's much comfortable when it's raining. Wearing only a pair of boots with matching sweater and sweatpants together with her favorite blue umbrella, she went outside without making any noise to disturb someone. She went to the shore near their village to see the waves battling with the heavy winds. She looked at the view infront of her not minding the water splashing unto her, but recognizing how amazing the sea is. She have always thought, how does it feel to be like water? Until something hit her, it was a painful memories, a worst one.

She unconciously walked in the shore, her feet won't stop from walking, so she just let it. Slowly, she felt a cold water touching the skin of her feet. Tears started running down from her eyes, she couldn't speak out. She can't express it out how painful that memory is. She looked at her body, the sea water is getting higher and higher, she then thought, 'I'm ready' 'Take me' the sea must have hear her thoughts when a huge wave was about to eat her. The last thing she do was to smile at the beautiful wave that will take her life away. When the wave crashed into her, she panicked until someone grabbed her wrist but then everything get blurred and she had passed out.

'Am I dead?' but,

it is so dark.

is someone also here?

'Help!'

i'm so afraid..

'Help me!'

but i can't speak..

it's all in my head,

'somebody help me!'

i can't feel my body

where am i?

i'm crying,

i'm afraid in dark,

'mom?'

'dad?'

no where is mom? dad?

'please let me out in this place!'

"Doc, is she okay? Will she be able to woke today?"
I heard someone said, wait, I'm alive? How?

"Yes, sooner or later she will wake up. She's all normal now. I have to go check another patient madame, if you will excuse me. I will head now" I hear another voice, could that be the doctor?

"Thank you doc" another voice spoke. Where am i?

"It's all my fault, I didn't give my full attention on her. Look at her, I don't want to see her like this." is she crying? wait, no one's at fault.

"No, it's not your fault. This is not our fault nor her fault, it was her memories that haunts her. She doesn't deserve this." what? what memories? my parents memories? they're, they're—bad memories.. it's all my fault.

"Oh my god! Joongki! Look! She moved her fingers! Go call the doctor!!" I move again my fingers trying to feel it.

"Okay excuse me madame, let me check on her." these people was doing things with me, I was too weak. I slowly opened my eyes, and saw familiar faces.

"Wendy!" aunt hyekyo cried when she saw me awake. I also saw uncle joongki beside her wiping his tears.

"She's all well, but please control your touches since she's just recovered. The nurse will just checko on her time to time." the doctor said and bid goodbye.

Aunt Hyekyo quickly held my hand and kiss it,

"Wendy, please don't do it again. Your unnie will arrive here soon, she was so angry at herself that she had left you.." a tear escaped my eyes, i don't want to be a burden to unnie.

Aunt Hyekyo wiped my tears and kissed my forehead, it was warm and I'm longing for this touch, a motherly touch.

"Please wen, speak your thoughts, I want to know exactly what are your feelings right now.. I want to know, so that I can help you.." aunt hyekyo said, it was really hard for me to speak after what happened 2 years ago.

I've been traumatized on what had happened 2 years ago when my parents died. I was with them when that accident happened, and luckily I survived physically, but emotionally I'm dead. I can't find my voice and I don't know why either.

I just stared at auntie hopeless when someone suddenly opens the door harshsly and it aas unnie who was panting rapidly and run towards me.

"Fuck it wannie, don't do this again.. i don't want to loose you also. Please, please don't do it again. Ever" she was crying and same to me. I also never thought of me leaving unnie behind after all this years. I nodded in response and feel her hug a bit tightly. She wiped her tears and faced me with a smile on her face, and ruffled my hair.

"I bring your favorite fruit, orange!" she said and my smile grew bigger upon hearing those words. Orangeee!

"Please smile often like that seungwannie.." her unnie murmured.