Before // Zion Kuwonu

Chapter 21

I'm crying.

It's not from sadness. It's not from happiness. It's not from nostalgia. It's not from PMS.

Well maybe its PMS.

No, no it's not. It's from stress. And it isnt even the kind of cry where I cry my heart out and blow through my stress emotions.

Nope. My crying cant even do that fucking right.

It's literally and continuous small flow. No big tear, just a continuously stream of small tears flowing. Literally.

My face is a light shade of red, my nose a tad bit runny. The glasses I have placed on the bridge of my nose requires me to constantly push them up every ten seconds from sliding down.

I sit on the kitchen counter across my painting on the easel, my sweatpants stained and my pajama shirt stained with a couple of salty tears that dripped down from my chin. My toes are exposed to the crisp air but I'm simply too lazy to get up and pit on some socks.

I feel my hair slipping from the messy top knot it is placed in from frustration. Slowly, I reach up to redo the top know, very softly singing to SZA's Control album, I know by heart even as it plays in my earbuds.

Thank god none of my room mates are here.

Dylan is gone for the whole day with classes and studying at the library, Jessica hanging out with her new boyfriend I have yet to meet, and Natalia is crashing with her friend on the other side of campus.

My paint brushes all over the place, my palette covered in a mess of paint. Thank god for the cover sheet on the floor.

The door knob to the dorm squeaks, signaling someone had walked in but I ignore it. I'm in my own world and you could see that in my painting; a sea of chaos.

"Hazel?" I hear recognizing the voice of Zion.

I look down from the ceiling and see Zion looking perfect as usual.

"Oh my god! What's wrongs," Zion rushes over, clearly concerned.

"Oh you know, just college stress," I laugh, and push up my glasses.

"Oh babe," Zion says, brushing my craving baby hair back and lifting up my chin to make eye contact with me.

Still crying, I smile, "Your so perfect."

"Hazel, may-"

"What did I ever do to deserve this life? I go to a wonderful college, my family is finally stable. I have you. Just standing here, you look perfect," I chuckle, shaking my head.

"Babygirl, you deserve everything in the world. And right now? You deserve a good night's sleep," Zion states genuinely concerned.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this, I just get in funks sometimes," I laugh, wiping my tears and pushing up my glasses again.

Zion gives me a hug.

It was the kind of hug that even when your on the verge of a mental breakdown, it seems as everything disappears. My body turns loose, my tears finally stop flowing, leaving me with hiccups. I wrap my arms around his waist, warming up from his body heat.

"I love every part of you. Even your slight flaws and mental breakdowns. You've never been so beautifully vulnerable with me, I love it," Zion mumbles into my shoulder.

My lips stretch into a small smile, calming my heart.

His body let's go of mine, pulling back and leaving me slightly cold from the lack of body heat. Instead, Zion scoops me up with his gangly arms, bridal style, and carries me to my bed.

I shift around, pulling the blankets closer to me, Zion slipping into the tiny bed next to me and spooning my body. Smiling to myself, I moan from the warmth and black out.

*****

My eyes slowly open up, squinting a bit from the dark and my puffy eyes. Already awake, Zion lays still spooning me, drawing circles onto my slightly exposed stomach.

I flip over to face him and smile just at the sight of his presence.

I cover my eyes with my hands, laughing from embarrassment.

Sitting up, I apologize, "Oh god, I'm so sorry."

I take out my hair and begin to brush out my hair with my fingers.

Zion moves the blanket slightly and sits up beside me, "Dont need to apologize Baby,"

I look over, grab his face with both hands and kiss him, moving my lips in a slow rhythm gradually quickening up the pace.

Zion carefully moves me on top of his lap so I straddle his hips. My hands slowly moving from his side jaw to the back of his neck, playing with a couple of hanging dreads; His hands shifting from my waist to my butt. Our body's subtly move to the rhythm of the kiss, softly grinding.

Surprisingly, Zion breaks off the kiss, catching up his breath. I rest my head on his warm chest.

Resting in out position, I begin to wonder why Zion came by.

I lift up my head and ask, "How come you came by? Not that you cant."

"Yeah, I had a semi surprise, they guys and I had went to a studio to record your song and sent it to Simon," He informs me.

My eyes widen despite the swollen, puffiness, "Are you kidding me?!" I get excited, slapping his legs behind me, "Show me, show me, show me!"

Zion chuckles and reaches into his back pocket for his phone. He opens a file, "Are you ready?" He looks up at me.

I smile and nod my head quickly.

The same intro comes on and I immediately hear Brandon singing the first verse, I burst into a huge smile. They sound so good already. Zion begins to rap a part, sounding so hot. I smile, biting my lip, aware of Zions gaze.

Edwin sings the pre-chorus beautifully, really giving it the vibe I originally had planned. Leading into Zion singing the chorus instead of Brandon, most likely since they thought it would be more appropriate with me writing the song. The guys all sing alongside at perfect times, creating the most beautiful harmonies.

Nick sings the next verse in a higher vocal range like I intended and flowed into Austin's verse I created just to please the fans. His low range flowing beautifully into the Edwins pre chorus again.

The chorus this time is sung by all of them then the last portion of the song with Zion solely singing, more heartfelt less pop. He uses a smooth voice, hitting all the notes perfectly and creating some newness by adding creative runs. Then the song ends.

I look up at Zion, blown away.

"Holy shit you guys made it SO GOOD!" I squeal.

"That's all you baby, and we wrote your name as the producer, so, this soon to be hit, will be in you name, your earning," Zion adds smiling filled with happiness.

I look at him seriously, "You know I dont want fame or money, right?" And stand up, walking into the main room.

"I know, I know, you dont even have to be public about it but you still get the credit and the money could help pay with college," Zion suggest.

"I guess, all I want though is a happy life and you," I state, pulling out a cup and filling it with water.

"Man I cant wait for it to be approved by Simon!" He dances.

I laugh at his goofiness, taking a sip of my water.

"This is going to be the most popular song of the decade," Zion says giddily.

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I kind of liked how Hazel was openly vulnerable. :)

Hope it wasnt cringy