Change || Loki.

4.

Loki's hands trembled as he stretched them forward, towards the glossy red apple sitting on the table. He was so focused yet barely anything was happening. Loki had almost lost hope when suddenly the apple starts to rise in air, engulfed in a green light.

Loki started jumping in excitement, letting go of the apple, letting it drop on the floor and ran to Frigga's chambers. "Mother! I learnt the magic!" He exclaimed as he climbed onto the bed beside her. She couldn't help but smile at his cuteness.

"Is that so?" She asked surprised at the fact that Loki learnt it in a matter of minutes. It was not long ago when Frigga had shown Loki how the magic of controlling objects around him was done. She felt rather proud.

"Yes! Do you want to see it?" He asked, already ready to do it again. She nodded with a smile as Loki jumped off the bed and looked around for something to perform his magic on.

"See what?" And there was that voice Loki dreaded to hear. Odin. Loki did not want to perform magic in front of him, he'd not like it at all.

"Loki has learnt something new today," She said and turned to Loki. "Haven't you?"

"I'd love to see it." Odin stated but Loki doubted it very much. But still he continued.

He turned to the vase and raised his hand in its direction. And focused and repeated the spell in his head and no sooner, the vase stumbling in the air. Loki was quick to giggle in excitement. He lowered his hand towards the table and placed it back to where it belonged.

He took a long breath and instead of turning to look at Frigga, he turned to Odin, hoping that he'd be proud. But when he turned, Odin had a look on his face the young boy could not well decipher.

"Well done, Loki." Frigga added, quickly, avoiding the tense silence in the room.

"Thank you, Mother." He was still waiting to hear what his father had to say. But he said nothing.

"Loki, if you'll excuse us, we have an important matter to discuss."

Loki frowned. All he wanted was to see him proud. He wanted to ask him what he felt but decided not to. He left.

He couldn't understand why anything he did ever manage to earn something so small as a smile from Odin.

Now, even a single nod of approval would do.

In his eyes, there was nothing but pain. And as the time passed, Loki grew older into a 12 year old boy but when someone still looked into his eyes, there was nothing but pain.

Nothing had changed.

Loki looked down at the small green stone he had found by the lake and couldn't help but feel astonished at how beautiful it was. It seemed as if it was radiating light. Suddenly, the stone was snatched away from his. His head snaps back only to find Thor grinning down at it.

"What junk. Brother, are these the things that intrigue you these days?" Thor said, mockingly, throwing the stone away into muck. Loki immediately stood up and glared at Thor. "Why did you throw it away, I found it!" He exclaimed in annoyance. "Oh Loki, is this how you'll speak to your elder brother?" Thor mocked, giving him a push. Loki looked down, he didn't want to fight. "What happened brother? Scared?" He said, pushing him again. He was scared, but not of him. It was time that Thor pushed him again, this time harder, causing Loki to stumble back. He didn't want to stay quiet. So he pushed back, causing Thor to fall on the muck he threw the stone at. Thor was quick to get up back again and he was now angrier. He balled his fist and threw a punch right at Loki's face. Thor was now on top of Loki and he continued to punch him. Loki was struggling under his grasp because Thor was in fact, much stronger physical.

It didn't take for the guards to march their way and pull them apart. And now Loki suddenly realised that they'll be taken to All-father.

__________________________

While Loki and Thor stood in the grand hall of Asgard, Loki knew he wouldn't be punished for this as it was evident that he was the one beaten up. Even the guards had witnessed Thor on top of Loki so the chances of Thor getting away with this were slim.

Over the years, the relationship between Thor and Loki grew strange. As Thor came of age, he knew he had to stay good in the sight of Odin in order to become king. While Loki continued to make efforts to make Odin proud, the day still hadn't come when he was proud of Loki.

It was a blind faith in Odin that had pulled Loki through all these years.

"I'm disappointed in both of you." Odin spoke, turning his head to Thor. "What led you to act in such an unruly behaviour, Thor?"

Thor looked up and shook his head. "I'm so sorry father. I shouldn't have been so immature and I should've forgiven Loki for his disrespectful manner."

Loki looked at Thor with a scowl on his face. He couldn't understand how he lied so easily to get his younger brother in trouble. "Disrespectful manner?" Odin questioned, unaware of what Thor was speaking of.

"I just wanted to admire the stone Loki had, but Loki, he got angry. He pushed me into dirt and got unreasonably violent. I let my anger get the best of me. I apologise for that." Odin raised an eyebrow and looked at Loki.

"You have disgraced us with such disgusting behaviour of yours. Why would you do that to your brother? Pathetic!" He spat, not giving Loki a chance to speak. "You've always been one for lies and mischief but I never saw you to be this ill-mannered."

"It's only fair you get punished for this." Loki looked at him with shock, he couldn't comprehend what all was happening. He looked at Frigga with pleading eyes, begging her to help him but she turned her gaze down.

It didn't take long for the guards to remove the clothes from the upper half his body and put his hands in chains. Loki was struggling to get out of their grasp and at the same, struggling to prepare himself for whatever punishment Odin was going to give him.

He was not even closed to prepared for the time when a leather whip was slapped against his, bare, cold skin. He held back the urge to scream and shut his eyes close, tightly. He lowered his head as the heated leather was repeatedly smashed against his skin cold.

He was holding it in, the scream. He wanted to let it go, so bad yet he held it in.

As Thor looked at Loki, he felt horrible for what he had done. His actions were driven by immaturity and lack of consideration. He had to lie, he couldn't afford to jeopardise his image in front of his father. He wanted to be king. He was desperate enough to lie, no matter what it cost him.

After over twenty lashes, Loki let out a grunt in pain but still held back the tears that were on the verge of falling down his cheeks.

Odin kept on waiting for Loki to show a sign of weakness and finally show that he got the lesson but he just wouldn't. He just wouldn't cry.

Odin raised his hand up, signalling the guards to stop, not being able to let it happen any further. Loki took a long, deep breath as he stumbled where he stood but crashed onto his knees.

There were no hands to help him up, no eyes that showed concern, no lips that spoke for him and no place where he would feel safe anymore.

And moments later, there he laid, curled up in his bed, his wounds still fresh. He was in a state of shock; disbelief more likely. The only thing he could think of was what fault did he have in him? He was purely confused. He didn't even know what he could change in himself to fit in enough to stay out of trouble.

He just wished someone would tell him what he could do to change; make his father proud.

He wanted to feel safe but just when he let go of his hands hugging him, he felt so vulnerable. Unsafe.