Again (boyxboy) (s.a sequel)

eleven

I called out of work today. I made up some excuse about having food poisoning so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. I wasn't in the mood for much socialization. I didn't even call that guy, Dean What's-his-face. I was way too low to talk, anyway.

All day I had been crying in bed about what I did to Kellin. I would have never thought that I would be the one to hurt him so terribly and that was the thing that hurt the most. It was like I betrayed him and, every time I closed my eyes, saw that face he gave me. The one that only held heartbreak and pain; such icing on the cake! Seeing Kellin cry, even in high school, created knots in my stomach and I wanted to hurt anyone who had made him feel so low. Now, I would be hurting myself.

I rolled over with a sniffle and looked at the time. I had about thirty minutes to get to the school in order to be on time for practice, but I had no motivation to get up. Instead, I laid there and stared at the ceiling in silence. What was I supposed to do now?

I loved Kellin. I still love Kellin. How would I apologize? How would I make it up to him? Couldn't he see that he was the only one for me? He's my first thought in the morning and the last one before I go to bed. Even so, I hadn't been showing that. I'd shown him that basketball meant more to me than he did and I couldn't bother finding time to see him. Of all those hours I was sleeping, I could have been sleeping with Kellin. I was so stupid. I placed my hands over my eyes and let out a shaky sigh.

"Hey!" I heard from my door and I immediately jumped. Who the fuck was in my house? "Get up! You're going to be late for practice!" The voice continued and I knew it was Kevin. I forgot he had a spare key.

"I don't care!" I moaned and threw a pillow at the door. "Go away!" The door opened and Kevin stood at the foot of my bed with his hands on his hips. He looked like a disappointed mom.

"You can't mope around all day, especially when you were in the wrong." Kevin walked over to my side of the bed and sat on it.

"I know, I just feel like I can't face him again. Like I ruined everything completely,"

"You didn't, you just need to apologize." I shrugged. How was I to do that when he didn't even want to see me?

"I'll run practice today. Go to Kellin's practice. Focus on him this afternoon," Kevin suggested and I looked at him with wide eyes. Was that even a good idea? I wasn't sure. Half of me knew that it was and that it was needed, but the other half, the cowardly half, was too afraid to confront him.

"Okay..." I said after a while. There was no use in running away. I was reverting back to my high school days. Any time I screwed up royally I would hide away so I couldn't make any more mistakes. Now, though, me hiding was a mistake and was making things worse for myself.

After maybe twenty minutes, I got dressed. I didn't wear anything nice, just sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I didn't want to be noticed, really. My plan was to just sit in the bleachers and watch. I decided that, even if we didn't talk, as long as I saw him I would feel a bit better.

The drive to the school was short and quiet, I couldn't find any music that I was in the mood for, but getting out of the house boosted my spirits just a little bit. As I walked into the second gym, I kept my head low. I sort of felt like a creeper, but no one noticed me regardless. I climbed the bleachers and sat at the top and waited for the practice to begin. Even after watching so many in my lifetime, I still didn't get what happened during the practices. I only saw them run a little and stretch. I didn't know anything else at all. Maybe that was because my eyes were always glued on Kellin.

"Alright, circle up, please!" He yelled and they all gathered around him from whatever they were doing. I couldn't really hear what he was saying, something about a competition being in a few days, but I moved on from that. I put my head down in my lap and watched in silence.

I felt so stupid right now. I felt like I was still in high school. I mean, look at what I'm doing! I was moping around and shedding tears over a boy that I hurt. It was so juvenile of me.

I stood up and made my way down the bleachers and towards Kellin. I wasn't thinking a single thing, I was just acting and it was the most logical thing I had done all day.

I walked up to Kellin with ease and stood before him. He looked at me with surprise and confusion, but I grabbed his hands in my own and squeezed them.

"Vic?" He whispered, but I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles. His hands were so soft and warm. I missed the constant contact. "What are you-"

"I'm going to make it up to you. Mark my words." I dropped his hands with one final swipe and walked away from him. I would make it up to Kellin the way that I knew would work; something big and meaningful. It was the only thing that made sense. It was the only way to get him back.