Ranting Since '99

Fault In Her Stars

Fault In Our Stars

Awarded the most Overrated Book Of The Year.

*claps* one award it totally deserves tho.

Ok, about 20 people might've recommended the book to me. Me being a lazy arse, started reading it about 2 months later. In fact, I just finished it today, so well.

Here I am, writing a rant about it.

The book is such an emotional blackmail in paperback, it's impossible. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I just wasted 400 bucks on it. Like ew, what's wrong with me?

Yeah alright. I know the story.

She has cancer.

Hot guy has cancer.

Hot guy behaves like a prince, who's over the cancer.

Hot guy does first, leaving the cancer stricken girl alone with his best friend, who's lost his eyes (now would be a good time to mention that the best friend has cancer too.)

Like Wut the fuck?

It's like you're practically going mad over cancerous tumors.

Also.

The cancer guy and cancer girl have sex in Amsterdam.

YES IN FKN AMSTERDAM WHERE THE GIRLS MOM ACCOMPANIED THEM.

C'mon! I'm normal but my mom won't lemme near 2 inches of a guy.

(Not like that affects me, eh)

And all the book FKN does is portray them as heroes and everything.

They're teens for gods sakes, you expect them to be King Henry VII??

Secondly, there are certain "statements" that disturb me thoroughly.

"Her lungs sucked at being lungs."

OMG, that line deserves a Nobel prize. Like wow, how hard to write that, right? He lungs sucked at being lungs, let's just offer her some of ours.

"She wore some F21 dress."

Ok, the dress in question had no description to it, nor do I expect the author to know much about the brand.

Like even my work has a better description of the character's outfits than hers.

She's always wearing Chuck Taylor's and something like that.

#callsfor2004

And she's just fucking crying about her situation the entire book. Like STAAHP crying over everything, you gotta hawt guy to hook up with.

One more thing.

The writer whom they looked upto in the book, actually PAID for their romantic dinner and CALLED THEM TO THE HOUSE.

Wow. I wonder if Veronica Roth would've done the same for me.

Almost every second chapter, someone's crying or dying or something.

People be crying over the book and everything and I did not so much as have a pleasant read.

And the book's conversion to the movie was just....

#weneedbigbucksoffcancerbooks

Also, there was this stupid book that was promoted entirely throughout the chapters

DID HE GET PAID OR WHAT?

Actually the Imperial Affliction is not a real book. No, scratch that. It is a real book, but it's written by Thomas Simmons. And it's quite old, I've heard.

So my judgement on fault in our stars.

Fault. In. Her. Stars. Causing. The. Same. In. Mine.

I'll burn off the copy at 3 am in the night.

Also, they are alive so no point crying over them.

Their stupid "Okay? Okay." Thing is seriously so pissed me off I can't even.

Signing off.