Backwoods Backwards

Thirty-Six

I spent over the next hour having a serious heart-to-heart with my mother, filling in enough details without giving away too much. I didn't know how much she had overheard when Perry and Angela had been here, so I had to tell her something, but that wasn't my only motivation. I wanted to tell her things, even if I kept some parts to myself.

I told her about Wesley and how we started, how we ended, and everything between him and I since. I told her about Perry and how I've been keeping things from him, which is something I'd never done before until recently. Then I talked about Jesse, how I've gotten close with him and how that has messed up everything I know. Lastly, I told her about Duke. I was careful talking about him with her, as I was afraid of confessing too much, but I let her know enough.

At the very least, I was hoping that talking to her about him would help me figure things out.

When I was finished, Mom hugged me like she never had before, and the amount of support I felt in that moment was unreal. Later, when she left and I was home alone, I called Duke for a little more support.

The first thing he did was insist that he come over, so here I am now letting him into my house when he knocks at the door. Duke takes a good, long look at me before folding me into his arms, and I welcome the embrace.

"Hey, sweetheart," he murmurs, his mouth against my temple, "how are you doing?"

"Shitty now that my best friend has bailed, but I guess I saw that coming." I try to laugh, but the sound rings so hollowly.

Duke pulls back to look at me again, then gently untangles himself from me. "Want to talk about it?"

I reach up to rub at my temples, shaking my head. "Do you mind if we don't? I could really use some non-judgmental company for a change."

He takes my hand in his, running his thumb across my knuckles. "Whatever you want."

I take him upstairs, and as I settle into bed, Duke grabs my laptop and boots it up, bringing it over to start a movie. We sit side by side as the movie starts until somewhere along the line we shift against each other, and it's then that I recall the last time we did this. Back then I had been tense, skittish, but now not so much. Now, when he kisses my shoulder, I relax against Duke instead of springing away from him, and I close my eyes once I'm tucked around him comfortably.

"Feel okay?" Duke murmurs, tightening his hold on me.

"Mhmm," I sigh back, curling one hand against his chest. I can feel his heart beating steadily, rhythmically.

"I could make you feel better."

At his words, something ignites within me. I know you can, Duke.

The movie forgotten, I shift next to him until I can see his face, and then I kiss him. He returns the kiss gladly, twisting his body so that he's angled toward me. I lose myself in the intoxication of his kiss alone until I feel him tug at the button on my shorts.

Later, I'm flat on my back and Duke is propped on one arm next to me, his face pressed into the side of my neck as I catch my breath. When he makes as if to move away, I pull him back against me, looking for more.

"Lacey, wait," Duke says against my mouth. "We don't-"

"I want to," I promise him, kissing him deeply. I sit up, then move to straddle his lap.

Duke's hands curl around my waist, and he holds me back. "That was not an intention to start more. I did that for you-"

"And I want to do this for you," I whisper, taking his face in my hands. I touch his jaw tenderly. "Let me do this for you. For us."