A Love Not Returned

Chapter 11

Within the two hours of solitude before Oliver gets back from doing whatever it is he does, I come to a very important conclusion. Oliver’s brother is Adam. How could I not know this? Adam say’s that he knows everything Oliver does to me, so clearly Oliver tells him everything, clearly Oliver trusts him.

My second and most important piece of evidence is Adam’s sea blue eyes. Like the woman in the picture, like their mother. I felt safe with this man, almost to the point of trusting him. I feel betrayed by my own emotions.

My head is pounding from a mixture of being physically assaulted whenever it fancies Oliver, and coming to the conclusions I have come to. I close my eyes, and start to slowly count to ten in my head. Taking deep breaths in between numbers, my heart rate starts to slow.

I wake up sweaty and out of breath. Instead of green eyes haunting my sleep, it was the blue ones. Adam helped me escape Oliver, only to turn cold and torture me himself. Oliver has his arm draped over me, and is snoring softly in my ear.

Suddenly, my dad’s words enter my mind, bringing tears to my face. “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.”  What am I going to let this situation do to me?

If it defines me, who will I become? Will I be able to live with myself, being that person? Who will I turn into, and most of all, what would I do so that nobody sees the person I would become?

If it destroys me, then what is the point? In fighting for my sanity, for my peace, for my life? I know Oliver won’t destroy me, so would I end up destroying myself?

If it strengthens me, then I get what? I get freedom from this place, I get my life back, I get the opportunity to have a family? To have everything I wanted? So I really only have option here, dad. I have to make this strengthen me, somehow. I roll on my side, dry my eyes and drift back into a restless sleep.

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The next few days roll by without consequence. I have been set into a routine. Oliver gets up at 8 in the morning and leaves, at 8:30 Adam brings in my breakfast, at 9:30 he knocks on the door, signaling my bathroom break. He follows me to and from the bathroom, never speaking. Mac is always stationed outside my door, sometimes sitting in a chair with a book, playing on his phone, or flipping through a magazine.

Sometimes he is standing, and when he is, he is always smirking at me. I believe this is why Adam follows me, some sort of protection against Mac. So why is Mac outside my door and not Adam? I don’t understand many things, and I need to start working them out. I get four bathroom breaks a day, one of them consisting of a shower, and three meals.

Oliver is in and out of the house all day, but comes to the room around 10 p.m. every night. His face haunts me every night, whether I’m sleeping or not. His face looms over me, sweaty and full of desire. It’s in these moments that I hide away to the dark corners of my mind, refusing to come out until he is asleep.

I have lost track of the days and am wondering which day it is when Adam enters with lunch. He has started making the meals bigger, in an attempt to get me to eat more I am guessing. I don’t take the bait. I only eat half, at most. Adam looks at the half empty bowl of porridge, and sighs in discontent.  

“Madison, you need to start eating more.” This is the first time he has spoken to me since Oliver broke my rib.

“What day of the week is it?” I ask, staring at the wall, like I usually do when he comes in. I see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I haven’t spoken a word to him since that night either. I shut my brain off after coming to the realization that he is Oliver’s brother, the need for my body to heal was pretty overpowering. I need to figure things out in my head as well. Get myself into a better state to deal with everything.