Splifftoon (Splatoon AU)

Spyke and Murch

The morning of the concert arrives, Spyke and Murch busy counting up how much money they both got paid last night. Both from the merchandise point of view and drug point of view. Spyke looks over at his smaller friend. Who looks as if he is struggling to meet the amount he needs to keep his business going.

"Hey mate, I see you struggling there. How about we join businesses?" Spyke suggests, seeing Murch take a pill.
"Want one? They're my morning pills." He pops a small tablet out of its casing for Spyke. Spyke places it in his mouth and swallows it.
"What is it, Lil' Urchin?" Spyke asks the smaller person sat next to him.
"I call it Sun biter because I take it in the morning. It takes a bit to kick in, but it does feel good after a bit."

The two start to talk about the night previous.
"Y'know, my mum didn't like how I was out at the concert last night. Says it's too dangerous'." Spyke starts to laugh at Murch's statement, while rolling a spliff, lighting it just 
"Well your Mum sounds like something I would call..." he takes a drag of his spliff. "... pussy then." Murch scoffs and looks him directly in his eyes.
"My mums an anemone though. Not a cat." Spyke stops laughing and has a moment of thought.
"Right... I fucked an anemone once. Her name was Aqua. I have to admit it was pretty good." Murch sits still, going bolt upright hearing the name.
"My Mum's called Aqua." They both sit together in silence. It lingers on for too long that what they want.

"I can't believe how much you sold, anyway, what's your secret?" Murch asks Spyke, the larger urchin. Spyke holds up a sea snail.
"Don't charge them much money, but instead, charge them with these. God, they're so good to get on. He passes one in the direction of the smaller urchin sat in front of him. "Try it, trust me, you won't regret it." Murch rejects the sea snails and picks up a small cigarette-shaped object.
"This stuff is about twice as strong as that, y'know." Murch holds up his herbal substitute and points to his friend's spliff that contains weed.

"Did I tell you how famous my business is? I've had Judd and Lil' Judd buy from me before. They're weird, especially Lil' Judd. Judd is just like Off the Hook, they buy weed for a bong. But Judd and Lil' Judd, they're crazy going on LSD. I think that's why they don't always judge correctly in turf wars. I don't think anyone in Inkopolis is not on drugs in all fairness. Spyke quickly takes another drag of his hand-rolled spliff. He takes a moment of thought, remembering that he took one of Murch's pills before.

"Yo... Uh, Li'l Urchin, what was that pill I had before? It's not gonna kill me, right? It's just, I'm not getting any effect from it. Is it paracetamol?" Spyke asks the smaller sea urchin.
"Well, um... Yeah, I mean, life hurts sometimes, bro." Murch replies back, stopping as if he had more to say. "...And my grandma doesn't let me do the real things, so I call them drug-sounding names to make me sound cooler. She just calls it 'Teenage language'." Spyke starts laughing.
"So you've been rippin' off all of your customers with what?" Spyke questions, it takes a moment for Murch to build up the courage to say the answer.
"Herbal substitutes." Murch blankly answers. "I've had no complaints about it though. Spyke laughs at him once again, then an idea pops into his head.

"Going back onto the offer that I suggested earlier. Do you maybe want to join me so we can sell the proper stuff-" Murch's mouth opens as if he were to speak until Spyke continues. "- Don't worry, I'll keep all the stuff so your Grandma doesn't know. And don't worry, the agents that keep Inkopolis safe use me too, only really cigarettes but one of them I can only guess is always high, she never stops buying weed. She looks a little different to the other agents, 3 and 4, that is. I seem to remember she's Agent 8; they all do a great job of keeping us all safe so I give them discounts." Spyke mentions, talking about his customers again.

"Who's the hardest person to provide for?" Murch asks the taller urchin, who he looks up to.
"Probably Li'l Judd, or anyone who does LSD. It's mental trying to get that stuff into stock before they come and buy it." Spyke mentions, he rememebers. "Which, as I think, their usual top-up delivery is tomorrow so they'll be dropping by probably to pick it up."