I'm Happy [ BTS X READER FF ]

~CHAPTER THREE~

Past

Beautiful night

When you were two years old.
Author's POV

You crawl towards a toy that was lying on the floor. You took it and started shaking it up and down, right and left while giggling. Someone opened the door of the living room. But you were too busy playing with the toy.

"What are you doing with my toy?! It's mine!" Seok Hi shouted while taking the toy from you harshly. "Don't touch my toy ever again!!" She yelled slapping your cheeks really hard. You cried very loudly almost shaking the house. "What happened again?" Your mom barged in annoyed. "Mommy. She was trying to steal my toy so, I slapped her." Seok Hi said and went to her mom hugging her legs. "What?! You slapped her?? You should have just killed her.." Your mom said. "Really?" "Yes. Baby." Your mom replied her eldest daughter. "Ok!" Seok Hi said while grinning. She went to you again who was crying super loudly and kicked you in the stomach with all her might. You fell on the floor hitting your head. You fainted. That was a lot to make a baby faint. You were powerless. You looked pathetic. "Come baby. Let's go." Your mom said to your sister. "Yes! Let's go!!" Seok Hi said while raising her fist in the air. Your mom chuckled.

Leaving you there they went outside then drove off to a place.

After 7 hours, you woke up. You looked around you. No one. "Mama!" Silence. You just sit there. You looked around again. Something caught your attention. The view outside the large window of your living room. You tried to stand up walk towards it. You walked slowly. When you reached there, you placed you both palms on the window shield and looked at the view outside. The sky looked beautiful at night.

*the view looked somewhat like the picture given in the media*

You stood there amazed by the view. You knew that this was your most memorable scene till now. You loved it. You went towards a small tool and brought it in front of the window. You sat there and enjoyed the view.

You slept in that tool. You didn't want to go to your bed. You just wanted to stay there forever. Alone. With no one bothering you. Only you. Although you were just two years, you understood things. You knew you were always left alone. You knew they don't love you much. You knew and felt like a burden to them. You were scared to be with them. But you love them.

You would always hear shoutings. Your parents fighting. Because of you. Your dad always asked your mom to throw you away. Your mom hated you but still supported you a little. You were small. She is still your mother. Your sister already hated from the day you were born. You grandpa left the house the next day after you were born which, was the main cause of your parents' fights. Sooner or later they will throw you away cutting all the relationship with you. Cutting all the ties. Not leaving a single connection between you and your family.

Time passes

You grew up unhealthily. Your parents left you alone so you couldn't eat much food. Still you always find food for yourself. Sometimes you even eat the leftovers of you big sister's food. They were unhealthy but were okay to be eaten.

The more you grew, the more errands were given for you to run. You could say that you knew how to run simple errands but you were given even harder ones as you grew up. You started elementary schools at a very late age. You were left alone in a corner. You focused on studies to show your parents that you were able to study. You recognized letters. You started reading them. You wrote them. After finishing all of your tasks, you sat in a corner and read children books.

Your parents mocked you and made fun of you. They laughed at you. As happy they were, you were happy too because they laughed because of you. Selfish, right? Well.. that's what my parents called me. They said that I try to take over my sister. But I never did. I did the things that would fit me in the family.

As you got older you always thought:

Was being born as a girl, a problem?

Was I not able to satisfy their needs?

Was I burden to them?
 
Will you be able to find those answers? Probably not. Why? You don't know. You want their love. You want to be loved. Even after knowing the circumstances ahead, you are still willing to gain their love. Warm love.

Will I be.... loved by my.....own family?

I love my family....a.. lot.. more than my life..., a lot more than anyone would think... because they are my family.

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