"She loves him more than he'll ever know. He loves her more then he'll ever show."
-
" Kaneki, are you playing with me?" you question Kaneki who was seated just opposite you, with a hint of uncertainty in your voice. You weren't sure whether you guys were serious or whether he was just another one of those people who played with the feelings of others. You didn't have enough heart for that, and since he had already crashed so deeply into your heart, you were going to make sure he was going to stay right there with you in this relationship.
Kaneki looked away from the window and focused his eyes on you. He didn't utter a word and somehow, for the first time being with him, you felt insecure about yourself.
Even though the theme park was playing all this happy shoujo anime music outside, you couldn't help but feel that coldness inside the ferris wheel, unlike the usual warmth and comfort that all those mangas portrayed. You wanted, yearned for something like those shoujo mangas where the guys would actually care for the girl.
For these few months, even though you've been with Kaneki for so long, you haven't really felt his presence. It was as if you were dating a ghost, an empty space void of emotion. Even though there was the occasional smiles that would warm your heart, sometimes it felt as if he was just wasn't there with you. As if his heart was really somewhere else.
Every single time he walked you home just because he was scared some ghoul might take you made you fal in love with him more and more, but sometimes, when you were talking to him, his eyes seemed fixated on something else, his gaze far and wide, away from you.
You had taken the opportunity to invite him out on a date to the amusement park today since he was 'supposedly' free today. He worked at this random old coffee shop that you didn't really go to beforehand, but right after you learnt that he worked with Touka, you frequented that place more and more times. It was as if you were jealous. Maybe you might be jealous, but that was besides the point. You hated when Kaneki showed more emotion when he was interacting with the coffeeshop employees, especially Touka, your best friend, when all the emotion he could show to you was his feigned happiness.
You could tell. You weren't dumb. Of course you could sense when he was being happy or not. Whenever he went out on a date with you, it felt so surreal, so unrealistic, so fake. It was almost as if he was forced to be there, kind of like an arranged marriage, and not like the first few months of sweet courtship before he asked for you to be his girlfriend.
When you had confronted him outside his workplace after his shift, you could tell something was wrong. Touka, who had exited the coffee shop with him, had looked at Kaneki for a short time, then hastily bowed and made her way to the other side of the road even though you didn't even have enough time to call her name out. It was like she was fleeing away from you. Kaneki had simply stared at you with frustration clearly evident in his eyes, and you couldn't bring yourself to say out the words.
" 分離しよう" (Let's break up)
Just before you opened your mouth to mutter those words, he had slammed you against the wall of the coffee shop, your back hurting as he shouted in your face to stop being disillusioned.
That was the first time you had ever argued with him. Even though he had acted violently against you, at least, he had shown a little emotion.
" I'm not playing. I'm serious." Kaneki suddenly blurts out, his face turning red from embarrassment as his voice calls you back from your thoughts. You stare at him, deadpanning, unable to make a decision whether he was telling the truth or a lie.
" How would I know?" you mutter, choosing to believe your own eyes instead. You had seen him with Touka. With Touka, somehow he smiled more genuinely than he ever would with her. He seemed more gentle with you, but that wasn't what you wanted. You wanted something more than just a stale relationship. He had the courage to run with Touka and adventure with her, but with you, it was a different story.
" You're being unreasonable." Kaneki said, his hand raking through his hair in frustration. His right eye glistened, the maroon surfacing, signalling the sign of his rising anger. You didn't know how much Kaneki had to control his anger just not to rip you apart and eat you, bit by bit just to make you shut up with your random speculations.
" I'm not! What about you and Touka? What's with Touka?!" You scream as tears run down your cheeks. You can't seem to stand another moment in this goddamn god forbidden ferris wheel being stuck with Kaneki, this douche who pampered you, yet seemed to not have you in his heart.
" Touka's nothing! Touka's just a friend." Kaneki implores, his hand reaching out to grip yours but you move away before he can hold it. You couldn't take it anymore. It was as if in your eyes, his hand was tainted. You couldn't stand how he could hold her hand when holding yours, how he could still smile at you and say "I love you" when he would say the same thing to Touka.
You didn't want him to touch you because he was 'dirty'.
" (Name)-chan..." Kaneki growled a little, yet toned it down when the ferris wheel door opened with a very astonished staff staring into the ferris wheel capsule where Kaneki's face was contorted with frustration and impatience while you were crying, your tears dripping onto the floor.
Hurriedly, you apologise hurriedly and run out of the ferris wheel, brushing past the crowd as you forget about your bag in the ferris wheel capsule. You run as fast as you can out of the amusement park, unwilling to stay in that suffocating place any further. You wanted to move away from him, the one who you had loved so deeply. After all, he was just a player.
Kaneki punched the metal wall of the ferris wheel capsule, his hand bleeding. Ignoring the staff and the other curious passengers, he glanced at the bag that she had left behind and took it in his hand, calmly walking out of the ferris wheel capsule. It was as if that moment of rage hadn't even been there in the first place and the only evidence of his rage was that of the dent in ferris wheel capsule.
" Tsukiyama..." Kaneki murmurs, walking in the direction of where you walked. He tosses out your phone, scrolling through the messages in your phone. Your wallpaper is of the two of you, and he secretly smiles, something that he never thought would form on his face when he thought about the two of you.
Tsukiyama appears behind Kaneki, his arm across his chest as he bows ninety degrees down. Tsukiyama has that mischeivous glint in his eyes as always, but turns dead serious as Kaneki opens his mouth.
"Help me track her down."
Kaneki can't smell your scent in the midst of the crowd, the smell of the alluring food around him being too overwhelming, yet Tsukiyama could. Tsukiyama's nose was the best. He didn't even need to sniff the air to know where you were headed. That was how good his nose was and how good your smell was to him.
There was this intoxicating smell around you that Tsukiyama had taken interest in, yet had given up on when Kaneki claimed his rights on you in a battle, which Tsukiyama had obviously lost, tragically.
Then, the both of them calmly strolled in the direction you had fled in, as if the evening was just like a normal walk in the park, and nothing had happened at all.
-
YES. NOTHING IS PERFECT.
DEAL WITH IT.
LOL
haha:D jk~ it'll be sweet. i promise. just like how your scent is to Kaneki.
Yesh.
I update soon.
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Eat Your Heart (Reader X Kaneki Ken)
Fanfiction(Tokyo Ghoul Fanfiction) Reader X Kaneki Ken; Love would entrap you in his web of lies. His charm, his innocence, his deception. His tongue would lick your neck gently, as if a sign of affection but it was only an affirmation of his tastes to him...
