Secrets and Forbidden desires (Namjin Ff)

M

After what seemed like forever the same girl came back with out drinks. I could tell she was pissed that I didn't acknowledge her at first because this bitch purposely spilled my drink on me. She even pretended that it was an 'accident'

"I am so sorry sir! I can be clumsy at times please forgive me." She said with a fake sorry look on her face. I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh or smile evil at me.

"Maybe you should learn to do you job properly!" I said clearly pissed and I stood up. Jin stood up shocked at my out burst. "Namjoon! You shouldn't be angry at her she said it was and accident and apologized. What is with this attitude of yours? We could just go change your uniform and there problem solved...."

I don't know why but my anger was too much. "Shut it! I don't care. I am never coming here again. Not until this slut get fired!" I yelled at him while pointing at her.

I remember that day clearly. The face Jin had on his face now fills me with guilt for yelling at him.

I stopped out of the cafe and and ran into the park in front of the school. There was a secret place I had found there when I was little. I always use this spot for comfort and safety. I feel like there is nothing that can hurt me there.

I stayed there and cried. Hugging my knees not caring if my pants and shirt were dirty with coffee. I just stayed there and cried. The time went by fast.....to fast for my choice. I had ended up falling asleep there. When I woke up i noticed it was already dark outside. I crawled out from my hiding spot and stood up looking around. The street lights were on....there was nothing but silence.

I shivered from the cold wind. Ignoring it I walked back in the direction of my house. I still kept thinking to myself. What was I thinking yelling at Jin hyung?

For as long as I could remember we had never gotten into a fight over anything. We had never yelled or even gotten angry at each other or anything close to that.

I walked.....

And walked....

Finally I arrived at my house. I opened the door slowly with my key and walked in. I saw my mother crying on the couch covering her eyes and Jin hyung talking on the phone clearly worried. When he saw me standing at the door looking down. Immediately he dropped the phone onto the ground and ran towards me.

I expected to be yelled by him angry by what I had done....but no....all I felt was his warmth wrapping around me.

I opened my eyes seeing him crying and hugging I hugged him back tightly.

"W...where were you Joonie! I was s...so worried about you. I thought you might have gone to school but when I saw you weren't there I knew something was wrong. I couldn't find you anywhere I searched and I....I..."

I interrupted him "Hyung I'm sorry I didn't mean to run away like that! I was just too angry at myself for yelling at you." Hugging him tightly I continued "I didn't think you would want to see me after I over reacted like that. I....I was just angry at her. She did everything..."

This time he pecked my cheek and smiled "Joonie I know. She was just jealous of not getting attention. I don't care about what she was trying to do. I only care for you safety Joonie. You are my brother and nothing will change that."

I never thought those words could make me feel so hurt inside. I felt my heart break after hearing that he would only see me as his brother and nothing else.

I bite my lip disappointed and sad but gave him a fake smile. I turned and hugged my mom. I apologized to her and she forgave me after we both cried a bit more. After a long time everything was settle and our mom smiling told us to go to sleep. I nodded and went into my room. I changed my clothes and lied down on my bed. Jin soon joined me laying down next to me and hugging me from behind.

"You are the best brother I have ever had you know that right Joonie?" Not turning to him I nodded. He smiled and peck my cheek falling asleep.

"Brother.....right that's all I am....and will always be. Just your younger....brother."