I Think I Love My Kidnapper ! ( Roc Royal Love Story )

Chapter 20

4 months had passed very fast , and I've couldn't have been anymore nervous. I haven't seen Roc since running away from him 5 months ago , and it's a lot to take in at the moment.
Questions still lingering throughout my mind , especially reminding myself what if I didn't escape ? what would happen to me then ? I don't know how to react , due to staring at the man , I shared almost my entire teenage years with. He took a lot of things from me , my freedom , my trust in people , lost of security and most importantly my virginity.
"He tried to kill me " was the only sentence repeating into my mind the entire morning.
I shook of the thought , and did my morning routine , I threw on my business suit , and put my hair in a small bun. I put light make up on , and grabbed my purse and cell phone and left. There's no need to look all fancy , when this was gonna be a long dreadful day.
----------------------------------------------
Walking in to the court house was hell today. I had to face Roc , and speak on the situation that I had managed to stop talking about since therapy. Talking about the situation with him looking at me in my face wasnt gonna be the easiest thing to do. I had my parents by my side willing to assist me in this process.
"You'll do great baby , just put your focus on the situation , don't even look in to Rocs direction. " my father had said. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. My mom held my hand ever so lightly and caressed my knuckles , in her way of trying to calm my nerves down.
We walked inside the courtroom and saw police officers , and lawyers and what not , I sat on my side with my parents and lawyer. Roc's side was empty until they brought him in. Coming through those courtroom doors , surrounded by 3 police officers in his orange jail clothes and cuffed in handcuffs, was the one and only Roc. I felt stares my way , and I happen to glance up and there he was eyeing me. Making my nerves rush more than ever. Our eyes met , I grew fear and became overwhelmed , he had a look of sincerity , but no remorse. I didn't realize I was breathing hard , and shaking until my mom hugged me tightly and held my hands more. "It'll be okay baby , don't let him phase you , you have strength , we was preparing for this day for the past 2 months. Do whats right. "
keeping that thought in my head , has helped me calm down a bit as I was called to go on the stand , and speak about the story. As I was sitting at the podium I was surrounded by might hard stares. My parents had that look of security , and faith , my lawyer as the same but more for importance as he knows I need to speak on every detail that happened in that house those past years. My eyes went across the room to Rocs side , his lawyers eyes was not that tense , the police officers was supposed to have a demanding look and then there was his , his eyes had a different demeanor. He didn't wanna be in this jail position but he knows he deserves it but it also seems he don't regret anything he had done.
"You may start Ms. Stewart" said the judge. I looked at him with his stern eyes ready for me to speak. I opened up my mouth and started to reflect heavily back to the days that I never wanted to ever bring up again. I started with my mom being sick and and my dad working and how she sent me to the store in the blizzard. I stated feeling someone following me , i stated being thrown in the car , being shot , being locked up in a room , being beaten , strangled , verbally abused , physically , and emotionally abused by this man. I discussed his words at me , his anger , his emotional stages , on and on until I reached when I had escaped. But not did I once speak on me and Roc growing a relationship or even discussing love for one another. After speaking I saw the looks on everyone's faces again , my mom crying , my dad looking beyond pissed but also upset , the judges sincerity , and Rocs eyes didn't have any type of remorse nor emotion in them. He was stale , it was almost frightening. He stared me down when I walked off the podium. I went to my parents and sobbed in their chests. They held me tightly and kept repeated sorry.

----------------------------------------------
After my emotional speech , it was Rocs turn to discuss his actions , and what he had done. His story was very similar to mine , and he had admitted to everything I had claimed , but he did the unthinkable and announced our profound love for eachother. fuck !

"I loved Jennifer , she was like this girl that was destined to be in my life , I needed her , I wanted her and craved for her love , affection and attention , I didn't want her out of my sight. " he said. At this point I started becoming very uncomfortable , especially with him staring straight at me. "She loved me too , when we had sex the first two times , she liked it , and I liked it. There was no force rape intended no did rape happen, but towards the times before she escaped , yes I did rape her a few times , especially when I left her battered and beaten , bleeding everywhere." My dad stood up so fast at this point. "You bastard , stop talking about my daughter like that , stop talking. " my dad said.
"Me. Stewart please sit down" said the judge. "Roc is that all you have to say in your defense? "

"Yeah I'm done , not much to say anymore I've done my deed and need to do time on it since I did this to plenty other females other than Jennifer , but the difference from that being Jennifer was the only one kept alive. " he said in a stern voice.

"Are we done now ? " I said between cries , I was done listening to what Roc was saying , he kept making me sick towards my stomach. I felt really uncomfortable at this point and wanted to leave.

"Well listening to both stories , I have highlighted one part. Which was the relationship part , Ms. Stewart did you grow love for Roc at one point during you're times abducted ? " the judge asked. I wanted to lie so bad but I can't lie in the state of law. "Me and him didn't have a relationship that he had stated , it was more like a girl being forced against her will to love this mad man whose willing to assault her any chance he had got. But in all honesty your honor , I did grow feelings for this man at one point that were strong , but they faded very fast. It was like an in the moment type of love , I thought I wanted him , as Chreasanto , but he kept showing me Roc , the one who hurted me , and put me in situations I couldn't even defend myself in. With the constant bruises on my body , and the memories stuck in my head , I regret loving him , " I had stated.

My parents faces were priceless , I have never mentioned that part to them since I was put in their care , but I've never wanted that part to be brought up, I didn't even know Roc was gonna bring that up. I glanced over at Roc , he looked pissed off , more hurt but look like he was full of rage at this point. I feel bad but then again I felt like it was right to say that.
"We gonna have to go over the case again , and come to a debate with what we are gonna do with Roc , but for now he will still be held in a county jail , until the next hearing , lawyers I say you go over with your clients how they should show up to court, especially with witnesses. But for now the next court date is in 6 weeks , I'll see yall until then. " said the judge , he tapped his hammer on the board , which told the hearing was done. I got up from my chair fast , trying to get out of the court house filled with tension. As I was walking the officers was standing over Roc trying to get him out of his seat , he looked at me with an evil smirk and mouthed the words "this isn't over yet."

With that action he just did , had made me grow fear all over again.

----------------------------------------------

Told yall was coming back with this story , trying to finish it up lol , did yall enjoy this ? Roc is one crazy bastard 😩 .

- Dasia <3