Half a Heart (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 21: Regret

Val's POV

"Hey Val, pass the ketchup!" Liam says.

I look blankly at him. "Huh?"

"Ketchup...to your left..."

We're both situated in the rooftop garden of my house. I thought that maybe lunch with Liam could take my mind off Louis. But apparently not.

"Oh," I say, grabbing the ketchup and turning it around in my hands.

"Are you okay? You look a little faint," Liam says, putting one hand on my shoulder.

I shake my head lightly and look down. If I look into his eyes I'll probably break down crying.

"Val," he says louder, "are you sick?" Liam lowers his head to try and face me.

"No," I whisper.

"Let me feel your forehead," he says sternly. Li grabs my arm lightly and I flinch.

"Is it your arm? Your arm hurts right?" he asks concerned.

I bring my eyes up to look at him. "No," I whimper, "my heart hurts." 

He looks a little taken aback at the tears in my eyes. "Valerie I--,"

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be troubling you with my stupid problems. Here's your ketchup," I say.

"Is it Louis?" he asks softly.

I nod and wipe my tears away with the back of my hand. "Do you wanna talk about it?" 

"No," I say, reaching for a french fry. 

"Valerie, maybe if you talk about it--"

"No," I say sternly. 

"What's going on here?" Louis asks, emerging from the stairs. 

We make eye contact and I get to my feet fast, almost knocking over my water glass. 

"Liam I have to go," I say shakily, pushing my chair back and walking towards the door. 

Louis stops me by grabbing my hand. "Why're you crying?" he says, his face unreadable.

"Let go of me," I whisper. He just tightens his hold. I silently pray that Liam will come to my rescue and say something but instead he just gets up and backs away.

"I'm just going to wait downstairs," he says, turning away and quickly exiting the room.

It's just me and Louis now. I try and get out of his grasp, without looking at him.

"So you're not talking to me?" he asks, smirking.

I nod no, bitting my lip. He pulls me closer to him, so that I'm pressed against his chest.

"Oh, come on Val. You're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," he whispers huskily into my ear.

"We're getting married in four days. And then it'll be just you and me in Rio, all alone in some little hut. Just you and...me." He emphasizes each and every word.

I try and push away, but pushes me against the fence lightly. 

"Can't wait till' Rio. If I can't make you talk on our wedding night, I'll make you scream," he smirks.

And with that, something inside me just snaps.

"Please stop," I scream, tears pouring down my face continuously. 

His eyes widen and he lets go of me instantly. "Just leave me alone!" I yell.

Louis looks genuinely shocked. "I know what you did with Katie Prescott two days ago," I cry.

He takes a second to process things, and sighs deeply. "Val, it's not what you think it is," he says, reaching out for me.

"Don't! Don't touch me!" I say loudly, my voice shaking with tears. "Don't you ever touch me again, Louis Tomlinson!" 

"Valerie, please let me explain--"

"What did I ever do to you, Louis? Huh? Why do you feel the need to constantly hurt me like this? I'm hurting inside Louis, I'm hurting!" I cry. 

He backs away a bit, like a scared little boy. "You've made my life a living hell ever since high school! And I try and try to forget about it but I can't! Because that's how much you've hurt me! What happened to us Louis? We used to be such good friends! You know, I'll never forget the first time you hurt me."

He stands still like a statue, his eyes hardening on me. "You remember? I walked up to you to say hi, and you called me a bitch and pushed me to the ground. And then kicked me...repeatedly. Until my insides hurt and I felt like throwing up. How could I forget the good old times?" I laugh sarcastically. 

"Slut, whore, fat, ugly, worthless, stupid...it gets to me. It really does," I whimper. "You wanna know something, Louis?" I ask.

He just stares at me, his own eyes a little moist.

"I really used to like you, Louis. I think I was in love with you. In fact, I was cra-zy about you. Remember that kiss in ninth grade? I couldn't get you out of mind no matter how hard I tried. And then I see you making out with Katie Prescott the next day. Well, why wouldn't you? She's prettier, more popular than me, and she really knows how to make a guy feel special," I cry.

But I don't stop there. "And you wanna know something more, Louis? I'm still in love with you. I'm in love with fucking Louis Tomlinson, famous heartthrob, gets all the girls he wants. And what's worse is that I'm getting married to him next week, knowing that he hates my guts. And that he loves someone else." 

"You're in love with me?" he asks, his eyes red and bloodshot with tears.

"And it hurts me so much that he doesn't love me back. To see him fuck some other girl in my own house, just to get even with me. I don't come when you say come and go when you say go, because I'm not a prostitute, I'm a girl. With feelings," I say.

He keeps opening his mouth to say something, but can't seem to find the right words. I wipe away my tears, and put on a straight face.

"But I'm done with all this now, Louis. I'm done crying, because soon I'll have no tears left. I'm sorry for being such a useless, slutty waste of your time. I'm sorry, I really am," I whisper.

He grabs my arm slightly. "I'm sorry, Valerie," he says, crying.

I wiggle his arm off. "Save it," I say, storming out of the greenhouse.