Galaxy of Life

Stumbling through the night

i never thought you'd use that too against me

and you destroy me again and each day i face the demon that left me so tired the days before

so i smile everyday and they always ask if i'm okay

i laugh at them at their poor blind eyes

and speak through my eyes and i scream help me

but they only look at my mouth to make sure all i say is that i'm fine

they don't wanna trouble themselves with me

so please before she hurts me i plead just help me

but their backs have turned and i'm alone with you and you alone

i smile and follow your lead

you drag me down and my heart starts to bleed because i know what comes next

but you surprise me

i always hugged you but now you slap me

ask me if i said i'm fine

i look in your eyes and say

of course i told i'm fine why wouldn't i be anyway but this conversation turns for the worst

when you destroy me again

and i have no more friends

because i thought you would help me

but this time the pain never ends and then it becomes

a numbing throb that comforts me so i open my arms

and accept the darkness

i comfort it and nurse it until the day the knife in my hand

contemplates whether or not i should cut it

then the moment came

the moment i am there the knife in my hand i clench my fist

and the knife cuts my skin the pain is something that hurts but at least i can feel it i stare in awe as the blood stains the knife and i drive it deeper just below my pulse

that's when the blood rises once more to the surface

i lick the blood from the knife in a twisted kiss

it's now my only friend

that and the darkness that dwells in the pit of sadness and despair that flash in my eyes at the worst of times

one that you only see when i'm alone

watching the movie

because i know it ain't real life so i'm allowed to empathise

one day i tell you

please leave me

my heart can't stand the darkness consuming me

and i look in your eyes

and i see me in them

all the pain over the years showing on my face

and i'm stumbling through the night

it doesn't matter the pain ain't over

and i'm crying every night

it doesn't matter

i'll hold it together

i know you

i know you will hurt me forever

it doesn't matter my death is near

and i'm stumbling through the night

death i don't fear my end is near

and is paradise to my life, the crap i go through

the life that is true

and i don't know if i will survive

it doesn't matter you are here

and i will die

and you laugh with no mirth

just glad you took what you came for

left me wrung out like a dishcloth

you turn away

every day's the same

i fight to find my way

i hurt

i break

i hide

and try to pray

i wonder why?

does anybody ever hear me when i cry?

today i just turned fifteen

everyone blanking me

so i don't want to smile

they never get past arms length

how could they act like everything is alright

the girl i am

she says

maybe making me bleed

will be the answer that could wash the slate clean

everyday's the same

i fight to find my way

i hurt

i break

i hide

and try to pray

i wonder why?

does anyone ever hear me when i cry

this is the dark before the dawn

the storm before the peace

don't be afraid

'cause seasons change

everyday's the same

i fight to find my way

i hurt

i break

i hide

and try to pray

i'll be just fine

'cause god is watching over me

he hears me

and catches me before i fly

and loves me so i don't die

so i never die

by

my

own

hands