Craig of the Dead

14. The Wild Goose Chase

Rap, rap, rap.

"Hey, let me in!" I called out. I had been knocking on the door for a while now with no avail. I was starting to get antsy. With my face to the wood and my back open for attacks, it would be so easy to sneak up on me now and bite me. This idiot inside wasn't letting me in, he was just stammering and stuttering about his orders and how I was knocking on the door incorrectly. To be honest, it sounded a bit that diabetic kid. Not Kyle, but Scott Malkinson.

"Come on! I'm not a walker! It's me! Kenny!" I shouted.

"M...McCormick?" His trembling voice called out from behind the door.

"Yes, McCormick. Are there any other Kenny's in South Park?"

"I guess that's a good point. I'll let you in a second, I'm just trying to think about what Craig told me..."

"What Craig told you? Fuck Craig, open the door!"

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he said we could open the door for lost friends, even if they didn't know the door code... okay give me a second." I waited on the doorstep as the boy undid numerous locks from inside. As he worked, I talked, shifting my weight nervously as I spoke.

"By the way, are you Scott Malkinson?" I asked, eyeing the bushes to make sure nothing would jump out and attack me. I had been alive for a suspiciously long amount of time. Usually whenever that thought occurred to me, something would spring out at the last moment to fix that.

"Yeah, that's me. And before you say anything, I am fully aware that I have diabetes. I know, so you don't have to point it out or anything." He undid the last latch and the door swung open. I quickly ran inside, not wanting to spend another moment just standing around in the danger zone. Behind me, I could hear Scott redoing all of the locks on the door. A time consuming process, but a necessary one. If Craig was really in charge of this all, then I'd be pretty impressed. He seemed to have his shit together. More so than I did.

"Where is Karen? That's all I wanna know." I asked, getting straight to the point. "And Kyle, too, but Karen first."

"Karen? Oh, she left with the others." That statement fell on me like a bag of bricks. The wild fucking goose chase continues.

"She what?" I gasped, rubbing my eyes out of exhaustion.

"She left with the others. They figured out the hideout if Tweek and probably some others, so she and almost everyone else went to go storm the school."

"Who is she with?" I knew it was pointless asking. I already knew that, whoever she was traveling with, I wasn't going to trust them with Karen. I was already preparing myself for more searching and walking around.

"Well, Craig, of course. He's leading the whole thing. Then Clyde, Token, Kyle, Shelly, and Butters."

"Why would he take Butters with him?" Butters and Karen should have stayed behind. They couldn't fend for themselves. How could Craig let them go? What if something bad happened to them, how could Craig ever forgive himself? How could I ever forgive him?

"He's a good shot." Scott shrugged and then pointed upstairs. "But your bother Kevin is still here. It's just me and him left here. I'm watching some scary TV shows, and he's upstairs finishing the containment room." I could hear some banging coming from above me. Kevin was always good with his hands. Thank goodness, because he sure wasn't good with his brain.

So great, I had Kevin and Scott Malkinson. Meanwhile, Karen was trekking across town with a bunch of people who couldn't protect her.

"It was nice staying and chatting, but I've gotta run." I headed towards the door, but Scott jumped i front of me and blocked my path, despite the fact that his tiny body barely made any obstacle for me. Nevertheless, I stopped in my tracks and raised and eyebrow at him.

"You probably shouldn't do that. You could get bit if you go all alone." Scott warned.

"Again, I don't really care. I'm going to find Karen. Good luck with whatever you're doing here."

"Watching scary TV shows."

"Yeah, that. Good luck with that. Tell Kev hi for me, and yeah. I'm done. Unlock the door." I had tried to fiddle with the locks myself, but they were way too complicated. Scott was able to undo them with ease. "Oh, was Karen okay? Like was she safe and healthy and nothing bad happened to her?"

"Karen was fine, don't worry. She was a little freaked out when she first came here, but she's really been warming up to us. Especially Craig."

"Man, that's really weird. Am I thinking of a different Craig?"

"I don't think so. Craig Tucker, dating Tweek, loves space, guinea pigs, and flipping people off. That Craig."

"Damn. I guess apocalypse changes people, huh." I remarked, re-emerging to the outside world. I hadn't even been inside for a couple of minutes. I thought this whole thing was stupid. Die, go to the girls, no sign of Karen, die, go to the goths, Karen's with Craig, go to Craig's hideout, they're gone, go chase them down.... it was getting to be ridiculous.

"Do you want some food before you go? I could get you some Hot Pockets?" Scott offered.

"Sure, I'm getting pretty sick of Pop Tarts." I replied, grateful at the offer. Soon I had three Hot Pockets stashed away in my bag. Waving a final goodbye to Scott, the large door slammed shut, leaving me alone once again.

I trudged onward, my nerves on edge, my finger twitching over the trigger of my gun. I would not be caught off guard. If I heard a rustle of any kind, my gun was going off in that direction. Shoot first, see what the hell you even shot later. This tactic had been working for me, as I wasn't dead yet. No zombies bit me, or even came close to me. I even shot a couple of squirrels and a rabbit.

I passed my house on the way, looking at the run down shack. At one point, it had been the one slummiest building in the neighborhood, in the entire town. Now, it was just another crumbling building amongst the ruins of the SodaSopa project. Bits of old wood and rusted metal were strewn about. In fact, I had even been killed a few times by strolling through the remains and being impaled by a falling pole. I kicked at the dirt and rocks as I continued on my way.

This place, my home, had suddenly taken on an eerie vibe, sending chills down my spine. There was even a trail of blood down the road, staring at an old building wall and leaving puddles and splotches all down the road. Out of curiosity, I followed it. Maybe it was someone in need of help, dragging their wounded body through the streets, seeking aid. However, after following the trail for some time, it ended at the hospital. No one was in sight, whoever made that blood trail was long gone. Another stupid dead end. I left the building cursing myself under my breath for getting distracted. I have to just keep focused on getting to Karen and the others. I was going to find them. Even if it takes me forever.

I repeated this over and over again in my head as I trudged along the bleak road.