Total Drama Return to the Island

Total Drama Return to the Island: Hosting Canada

(Everyone laughs)

Topher: But don't worry. There will be some serious moments; just, not that much of it after I interview my guests. (Everyone laughs again) Anyway, (Kitty walks up next to him) what is it? (She takes out her phone and points to Chris) Oh, a selfie with him? Why not!

(Topher and Kitty walk over to Chris. Kitty holds her phone up while Topher makes the peace sign behind Chris' head. She takes the photo and shows it to Topher.)

Topher: That's a keeper. (She gives him a thumbs up and returns to her seat) Be sure to send me a lot of copies. This could be my Christmas card to the fans.

(Everyone laughs)

Topher: Anyway, speaking of Chris, he tried to use this opportunity to promote another Total Drama season. I mean, who wants that?

(Everyone is silent while crickets chirp off-screen)

Don: What if someone from my show used this to promote a new season of (the camera pans up close to his face) The Ridonculous Race? (He smiles as his teeth bling)

(Everyone cheers)

Topher: Seriously people, get the broadcasters to release another season of Don's amazing show.

Don: Thanks Topher!

Topher: My pleasure! (He turns back to the audience) Alright onto what's been making headlines in the world. Some Canadians have managed to bring home some gold medals for us at this year's Olympics. (Everyone cheers) Funny story, originally we thought that Canada never won gold ever. But it turns out; they have been winning some gold medals for the past few years. (He calls out to Sky) Sorry Babe! It looks like your goal to be the first Canadian Olympian to win gold will never happen.

Sky: (From backstage) That's alright! I'm done with the Olympics anyway. I've moved on to dancing; and animal caretaking.

Topher: OK! (He turns back to the audience) But anyway, congrats to our US neighbors for winning the overall medal count; 121 to be exact. I guess if you want to train with the best, take a vacation there and learn from the best. (The audience claps) And for our fellow American fans, please make sure the wife of one of your ex-presidents wins instead of that rich jerk face.

(Everyone Ooh's and cheers)

Topher: We have a great show for you tonight. When we come back, I'll bring out my guests for the night so stick around. Oh, but one last thing. Today marks the one year anniversary when Total Drama Return to the Island aired on TV; or to the readers, 5 months.

(Everyone laughs and cheers as the band plays before fading to black)

(Commercial Break)

(Cuts back the stage with Topher sitting at the host's desk)

Topher: Welcome back everyone! Before I bring out my guest I've been informed by the producers that I needed to say more in my monologue but I kind of run out of things to say; or maybe it was the writer.

(Everyone laughs)

Don: Well, why not use that time to roast Chris.

Topher: Ooh, a celebrity roast. I like it! OK, how about after I interview my guests, we'll all roast him together as part of our little fun and games segment? (Everyone cheers) OK! Now, my first two guests and very close friends who recently became sisters. Please welcome my girlfriend Sky and her new sister, as well as the winner of Total Drama Return to the Island Sammy; because let's face it, no one cares about Amy's ending.