Worst Guardian Angel Ever ✔

1~The A-hole Killed Me?

"Hold up, what?" I shook my head, running a hand through my hair. "What about heaven?"

"Oh you'll get there," the little man chuckled. Why was he so damn cheerful? "But you've been chosen to return to earth as a guardian angel. Before you do, though, I need some profiling information about you so we can log you into the system."

Considering it was the 'Afterlife' everything seemed so earthly and...

Wait.

I was dead? What the actual frickity frack?

That asshole had hit me with his car and kept driving... and had killed me!

"Um, excuse me? Yoo-hoo! Y/N!" the little guy flapped at me to get my attention. "I really want to go on lunch break, so please let's just enter some info for your profile, yeah?"

Lunch break??

"What do you need from me?" Anger was beginning to creep through my veins rather than bewilderment.

That handsome-jerk-behind-the-wheel had taken my life!

I was actually happy with my life!

"Yoo-hoo!" the little man- I guess he was 'The Keeper'- was flapping at me again, more frantically. "Did you hear me?"

"No," I replied bluntly.

Man, I was pissed now.

"Ok," the Keeper sighed a little. "So, we've got you're 5'5", dark brown hair, brown eyes, 118.82222222 lbs. The basic stuff. I need birthplace, and at least three hobbies you enjoy."

"And why do I need to tell you three hobbies?" I arched a brow.

The Keeper sighed again, for the first time sounding a little impatient. "Man, my wife is going to kill me for being late to the baby shower. Yes, three hobbies because we need to match you up with someone on earth compatible with you."

"Why-?"

The Keeper jumped up abruptly. "Let me explain clearly: Y/N, you're dead. Plain and simple. But, the Afterlife Heads have decided to send you back to earth to be someone's guardian angel, which means- you have to keep your human alive for one year; and then you can decide to either stay with them or move on to the official gates of heaven. Got it?"

No I did not get it.

But I nodded numbly anyways.

Guardian Angel? You had got to be kidding me.

"Alright, now," the Keeper straightened his shoulders, "shall we finish this up?"

"Born in Korea and my hobbies include photography, animals, and I was studying law in college before the douche bag hit me with his car and killed me," I finally got out.

The Keeper had been writing everything down on the clipboard but paused at my last words. "You died being hit by a car?"

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure it was a hit and run too!" I kicked the ground, annoyed. "I saw the car drive away before I...died." Man those words sounded so weird coming from my mouth.

"You sure the car killed you?"

"Well the car hit me, I felt it crash into my ribs." I waved impatiently. "I don't remember my exact death!"

"Okay okay," the Keeper raised his hands like surrendering. "Sorry, just trying to keep things straight. You're pretty feisty once you get fired up, huh?"

I didn't respond as he finished scribbling down things on the clipboard.

"Done!" The Keeper threw the clipboard in the air and it disappeared in a blink of the eye. In its place, a white folder appeared and fell down into the Keeper's waiting hands.