Hamilton Oneshots

Fluffy Lams - The Bird

Requested by @NoWords33

18: I shouldn't be in love with you.

Historical AU

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John's P.O.V.

I walk through camp nervously, on the way to Alexander's tent. Alexander is my...what would I call him? He has a wife, Eliza, but we've kissed before. I smile at the memory. I really need to talk to him about what we are...hey, I can do that now!

I enter the tent Alexander is in, and the first thing I see is Alexander himself sitting at a desk writing. Well, it wouldn't be a normal day without Alexander writing something. He looks up to see me and grins.

"Hello John! Make it quick, because I really have to finish this thing for Washington." Alexander greets, while tapping the back of his quill on the paper. I walk over to him nervously.

"Alright then, uhm, Alexander, what are we?" I ask. Alexander's smile is wiped off his face and I start to sweat. "Like," I add quickly, "Are we together, even if you're married to Eliza?" Alexander sighs and sets down his quill.

"To be honest John, I don't really know. All that I know is that I get a funny tingly feeling whenever we," He hesitates, "Do this," Alexander then leans forwards and kisses me. My eyes widen. So I guess we are something. What that something is, I don't know, but I like it. I really like it. After a solid minute, Alexander pulls away. We share a sweet smile together, and I put my hand on his.

"Do you wanna just...stay here? You can work, but I just want to be near you in these dark times." My voice drags off as the grin on Alexander's face grows wider and wider.

"Yes! That would be wonderful. John, I know I shouldn't be in love with you, but I just am. Here, have some paper, I know you love to draw." He passes me a few sheets and I smile. How thoughtful. Alexander hands me his spare quill and we sit in peaceful silence, him working, me drawing. This is the way life ought to be. Spent with your loved ones, not off fighting in a war. Alas, sometimes the only way to get what you want is by fighting for it. I glance at Alexander, whose face is furrowed in concentration. I let a small, bittersweet smile appear on my face. I would fight for Alexander, and also for what's right. At this moment, there's two things I really want. Alexander to be mine...and for slavery to be over. What do I want more? I ponder over the question as I sketch out a drawing of a bird. It's a bit selfish for me to just throw away my power and abilities just to have a life with Alexander...what's that he always says? To not...throw away your shot. Yes, that's it. I have the chance to help stop slavery, perhaps I should take it. But if I die...I'll never see Alexander again. But if I choose Alexander...there's hundreds, no, thousands of lives that WILL be unhappy while they're on Earth. The odds are in stopping slavery's favour...maybe I should do something with my life. Something more to fight for. I lean over to Alexander and kiss him on the cheek.

"I have to go, Alexander. I'm sure my commander is looking for me. Make sure to write, this mission may take a while." I stand up while signing my name on the bird drawing. I managed to finish the sketch, but I won't have any time to work on it during this mission. I must concentrate very hard, after all.

"Oh, I will." Alexander laughs. I smile and lift up the drawing, thinking about what to do with it while I'm gone. Of course! My eyes light up at the idea.

"Alexander, will you keep this sketch for me while I'm away?" I present the drawing to him, and Alexander smiles, honoured.

"Of course, John. I swear I'll protect it with my life." He takes it and we share a chuckle.

"Goodday, Alex." I start to leave the tent.

"Goodday, my love." I hear him say softly. I start to blush a little, the red tinge probably showing on my freckled face. Oh, how I love him.

Time skip (Y'all know what's happened don't cha)

Alexander's P.O.V.

I come home from work, absolutely dead inside. Washington has been giving me so much work recently.

"Daddy! Daddy!" I hear my 8 year old son, Philip, calling. I laugh and bend down to greet him. I ruffle his hair and he gives me a hug. How sweet.

"How's it going, my little man?" I ask. "Where's your mother?"

"I don't know," Phillip answers. Wonder where Eliza is. "But look Daddy!" He proudly pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and uncrumpled it. "Pretty nice, right Daddy? I found it in your study!" It's the drawing of the bird Laurens gave to me. Suddenly, all the grief I had felt and bottled up inside of me rushed out in the form of anger.

"Give me that!" I snarl, snatching the drawing out of his hands. Philip looks up, confused and slightly scared, as I try to smoothen out the paper. "Haven't I told you not to go into my study and touch things in there?" I sigh, giving Philip the benefit of the doubt. He is only 8 years old anyway.

"Sorry Daddy. Why's that so important anyway?" Bless Philip and his curiosity. Or rather, curse it. I sigh again and start walking to my study. Philip follows me expectantly.

"Well Phillip, this actually belonged to one of my," I hesitate, "good friends I had a few years back. He gave it to me for safekeeping, but before I could give it to him, he died." Maybe I shouldn't mention death in front of my son. Eliza is gonna kill me, but oh well.

"Oh," Philip says, slightly crestfallen. "Was he nice?" A bittersweet smile appears on my face.

"Very." Perhaps I should take the time to properly grieve for Laurens.

No, perhaps I should take the time to properly grieve for John.