Destiny's Gamble

Here, Always And Forever

"Angel, I've been wondering," Manik says. "How do you know Rebecca? During our time together, I don't think you ever brought her up as being your friend." 

"We recently met," I explain. "In fact, she's the one who told me about the entire..." I trail off, Manik's eyes telling me he has understood the meaning behind my words.

"Incident," he completes. "Angel, about that - " The room door clicks open, and in walks a man whose face is covered with an enormous wicker basket of flowers.

"Hello friends!" Cabir's enthusiastic voice spreads through the four corners of the room. "Goodness, this is heavy," he sings, placing it on the floor beside the door. Grinning, Cabir makes his way towards my bed. "Nandini, if you wanted my man's attention then you could've just asked. As it is, he's always in hearing distance from you." Barely a minute has passed since Cabir stepped foot inside this room and he's already started off with his teasing. 

"On a serious note, though, how you doing?" He asks, stationing himself on my left. 

"I'm fine," I say honestly. "It was just a minor accident." Cabir's eyes travel the length of my body and then they land on Manik.

"You made it sound like she had one foot in the grave." He says, staring at his friend accusingly. "I, on the other hand, would say that she's well able to dig a bloody grave on her own." 

"Shut up," Manik grumbles, rolling his eyes. "Why the fuck are you even here?" Pure irritation is evident in his voice.

"Shit!" Cabir hisses, face-palming. "I'm interrupting one-on-one time, right? Gee, I'm sorry, man." 

"We don't need one-on-one time!" I snap, all signs of jest escaping from Cabir's body upon hearing my words. "Malhotra was going to leave actually, and now that you're here it's even better. I mean, the two of you can go together, maybe stop by a restaurant." Cabir's head turns towards Manik. 

"Malhotra?" He mouths, scowling. Manik shrugs, his eyes landing on me. 

"Is Rebecca coming to pick you up?" He asks, raising his eyebrows questioningly. "I think I should stay for a while longer because I doubt she'll be able to bear your weight." 

"The doctor has given me crutches." I say, nodding towards the objects which are resting beside my bed. The Devil stares at them accusingly, as if they're the cause of our separation.

"Angel, you don't even know how to use crutches." Manik argues indignantly. "Let me be your crutch until you get familiar with the feel of those sticks." 

"That's just it, Malhotra." I smile with a lot of effort. "You're not supposed to be my crutch anymore. The responsibility was quite clearly burdensome for you, and so I have decided to remove it. Thanks, though, for the offer." Manik's face falls, his shoulders slouching forwards.

"Don't say that, Angel," he whispers. "Only your Aiyappa knows with how much difficulty I've managed to piece myself together. Heck, I'm barely holding on. So please - please - don't try to tear me apart in the blink of an eye." His fingers tug at the ends of his hair. "Because only you have the power to do so." 

"I don't understand why you're doing this!" I exclaim, the strings of self control snapping inside me.

"Doing what?" Manik asks with equal levels of excitement.

"Being here with me, cracking jokes, acting as if everything's normal." I shake my head in confusion. "I don't understand it, Malhotra. What're you trying to achieve from an already ruined relationship? We're nothing anymore. Nothing!" 

"How can you say that with such ease?" Manik's voice cracks, his tone barely above a whisper. "You and I - us - we're everything to me." His finger wags itself between our bodies. "Angel, you're my sunshine. How do you expect a human - your Devil - to survive without his sun?" 

"You were once without me, breathing, eating, living and everything was okay; and that's why I believe that even now, without me in your life, you'll be fine." 

"Exactly!" Manik yells, shooting up from the couch. "That's what I mean - everything was okay. I was passing each day, without any hope, without looking forward to anything, or anyone's presence in my life. But after I met you life was perfect. You made me see that, 'Okay,' isn't how life should be spent. Angel, you gave me heaven and now you plan on taking it away?" 

I stare at Manik dumbly, simply because I know that if I speak then he will hear the tears that are clogging my throat. 

"Angel, you make me feel." Manik marches towards the side of my bed, getting down on his knees beside it. "Excitement courses through my veins. Joy pumps through my blood. Hell, even the pain you give me has been a beautiful emotion I am ready to experience ten times over, as long as it means you're in my life." Manik's eyes are seeking some form of response from mine. "Are you telling me that I make you feel none of this? Nothing whatsoever?" He tilts his head to the side, his eyes clouded with innocence, like a young child who is seeking answers. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my mouth dry. "I-I don't anymore." Silence spreads its tendrils around the room, wrapping the two of us in its tight trap. Smiling, Manik stands up, backtracking towards the door.

"You're lying, Angel," he says. "To me, but more importantly, to yourself." He looks at me as if he understands the cause of such words falling from my lips. "You once told me that you'll wait for me. Now it's my turn to do the same. Angel, I will stand by your side - with, or without your approval - till the day you decide to start telling yourself the truth once more. And once you've accepted it, nothing would've changed. Because even then, I'll be by your side. The only difference will be that you'll gladly acknowledge my presence and welcome me with open arms."

"Nandini, for the love of God, stop sending Manik to hell everyday." Cabir bursts out, reminding me that he's still in the room. "I think you're blind to not see the pain his heart's writhing in. The bravery with which he wakes up everyday is commendable, even though he knows that by doing so he's simply welcoming angst. I want the two of you to get back together because only the dumbest asshole on this planet will be blind to the pure joy the two of you share. On the other hand, I don't want you to patch up with Manik out of pity because then you'd be the real Devil."  Cabir watches me with disgust unabashedly evident in his eyes. "You're at fault too, you know? Although, how should I say this to my man? He'll just turn around and beat me up for making you the bad person." Cabir tsks, disappointment evident on his face. "How, Nandini? How could you believe - even for a nanosecond - that Manik could've tried to rape a woman, much less his best friend? Is this how little you know of him? Because, honey, then I'm sorry, but you got to know the wrong guy." 

Pivoting on his heels, Cabir turns around and leaves the room, clearly not too eager on staying in the same room as me. Little does he know that Manik isn't the only one who has barely glued his pieces together. Only the four walls of my room - the ones on which my cries resonate - and the tear soaked pillow bear witness to my suffering.