Reckless Fearless Careless | ✓

40-Walking Aimlessly In The Middle Of Nowhere

Chapter 40: Walking Aimlessly In The Middle Of Nowhere

Smoking was a strange experience. I'm not sure if I enjoyed it but I for some reason I'm almost itching to do it again but I shake off the feeling as I stamp out the cigarette butt with my heel. River hands me a beer as I do so which I gladly accept, needing something to wash away my thoughts.

"You know you look hot as fuck when you smoke," he tells me with a smirk.

I send him an uneasy smile back before gulping down my beer, hoping to ease my nerves. "Thanks," I say between sips, still feeling slightly on edge but with each drop that goes down my throat I'm more and more comfortable.

River takes a stride towards me, his hand moving to caress my cheek. "So perfect," he whispers so quietly under his breath I almost don't hear it.

I match his stride until my back is pressed against the brick exterior of the house and I can feel my muscles tense.

He's now only inches from me, a kind smile on his face but there's something about it that puts me on edge — what that is, however, I've no idea. Breathe, Ari. Calm down. You're just overthinking.

"You know you look even more gorgeous under the moonlight," River breathes out, his lips millimetres from my own and hands on either side of my body, trapping me in place.

Before I even have time to think of a response his lips are on mine in a gentle kiss. Too shocked to respond, I just stand there, stock still.

When I don't reciprocate the kiss River's lips become more hungry against my own, now being more forceful and dominant. I let out a gasp of surprise at his sudden attitude change and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth.

Part of me wants to push him away and tell him to stop but I don't. Instead, I let him kiss me and hesitantly do the same. Why — I've no idea.

The kiss is aggressive and rough — not something I'm at all used to or like very much. River and I are both panting from lack of breath and his hands move from the wall to the sides of my body. They trail my curves, lingering for much too long but I don't have much time to think about his hands because of his lips — rough and possessive but not in a way I like.

Luckily, he doesn't take it any further as our lips part and he sends me one of his charming smiles. It helps to calm my nerves and ease the tension in my muscles but only slightly. If he had tried to go further a part of me feels like I would've let him and that terrifies me.

I don't know why but I feel like I don't want to say no to him. I shudder at the thought and push it to the back of my mind, focusing on the situation at hand.

"Now that was amazing," he smiles.

I send him a small one back, doing my best to cover up the uncomfortableness I was feeling. "How about we go back inside," I suggest, wanting desperately for the two of us not to be alone for much longer.

After that kiss I'm almost certain I don't like him but I just can't tell him that. He's right, it's wrong of me to shoot him down so early. So maybe I should just go along with this and wait for the feelings to follow — it doesn't sound like a good idea but my gut twists violently at the thought of rejecting him when he's been nothing but lovely and kind to me, always so sincere.

"Sure, Aurora," he says with a grin, grabbing my left hand and interlocking our fingers together.

Once we're back inside River goes to talk to a friend and I hastily make my way to the kitchen, more specifically the alcohol.