Hopelessly Imperfect

Eighteen

"Nate," I pulled away to better look at him. "It wasn't your fault." His grey eyes were glazed over. My heart broke for him. "It wasn't." I cupped his chin and he leaned on my touch.

He was in so much pain.

A part of me finally understood how much pain and sorrow my father must have felt when I tried to end my life. It had been such a weak choice. I felt like I had no choice, like I was cornered but I never stopped to think about my family. And I could understand Leah's desperation. But seeing Nathan like that, it made me realize that no matter what happens in your life, there's always a choice. Always.

"The police found out that she'd been going out with some street fighter. They couldn't find more." His jaw was clenched.

My eyes widened in understanding. "Is that why you fight?" He swallowed hard and looked down. My heart stopped when it all dawned on me. "You want to find him? What are you going to do if you do? Beat him to death? Is that going to bring Leah back?"

He pulled away, "You wouldn't understand, Cassie."

My stomach plummeted to the ground. "I know one thing. I don't think Leah would want you to get hurt." His eyes snapped to me. "And I don't want you to get hurt either." My voice broke on the last words as my eyes brimmed with tears.

Nate stayed in silence. His grey eyes set on me. He took a deep breath. With a trembling hand, he caressed my cheek. My heart raced as my eyes roamed all over his face stopping on his lips. We both bowed our heads until our lips met.

We stayed in silence for a while. Both in deep thought. His thumb stroked the back of my palm.

I wanted to ask him about his parents. They were definitely not close. I could see how much it pained him so. I would have never guessed that behind that tough bad-ass pose he had, there would be someone in so much pain.

It dawned on me why he'd asked me to be completely honest on my essay. Because at the end of the day, we really didn't know each other at school. We didn't know if someone was in pain or needed a friend. We could pass in the hallways not really knowing the person behind the mask.

I'd been like that for three years.

Leah had walked around and no one had reached out for her.

In my case, I'd push everyone away. I had no idea if she had done the same thing but it was clear that when people are suffering they tend to pull away. I leant my head on Nate's shoulders as I tightened our interlaced hands. He kissed my forehead. Without words, I wanted to let him know that I was there for him.

"Thank you," I whispered. Thank you for trusting in me. His hold tightened.

A pair of lights appeared on the street. A moment later, Dad's car parked in front of the garage. Reluctantly, Nate let me go as we stood up.

Dad climbed out of the car. "Good night," His blue eyes assessed us both. "I texted you that I'd be late, Cass. Were you waiting for me?"

"I didn't check my phone" I murmured.

He shook hands with Nate. "Good night, Sr."

"I'll wait for you inside, ok?" He gestured towards the house.

I nodded as he walked inside the house. He seemed satisfied that we'd been outside.

Nate placed his hands on the front pockets of his jeans. "I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." His lips tugged up on a small smile. "Nate?" I sighed, "take care, ok?"

His grey eyes bored into me. "Are you sure that this is what you want?"

I swallowed hard, "pretty sure." My heart warmed as he smiled shyly at me.

His eyes were piercing as he added, "you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."

My heart skipped a beat as my mouth went dry. "Thank you."

"No. Thank you." He murmured while pulling me closer and kissing me lightly on the lips. "Good night, Taylor," a lopsided smile drew on his face.

"Good night, Rivers." I waited for him to hop in his car.

Biting my lip, with a heart filled with different emotions, I waved as his engine roared to life.

I stepped inside the house and Dad was waiting for me leaned on the stair's rail with his arms crossed and a smugly smile on his face. "I take it you guys have solved everything now?" I rolled my eyes as he added, "why where you outside by the way?"

My heart fluttered as I recalled everything that had happened before. "We needed some air," I trailed absentmindedly before kissing Dad on the cheek. "Good night, Dad."

He narrowed his eyes as I climbed the stairs. "I'm getting nervous here, Cassandra."

A small formed in my face as I turned to look at him, "you don't need to have the talk with me, Dad."

His eyes widened, "Why does that scare me even more?"

Oh God.

Blushing, I averted my eyes as I murmured, "I haven't done anything, Dad. Don't worry."

He breathed out relieved. "Okay."

I laid in bed thinking about everything that had happened today.

My heart was soaring for Nathan.

I was worried for him. I wanted to help out ease his pain. Just as he eased mine.

He was worried that he wasn't good enough for me. I felt the same.

Could I be able to ease his pain?

One thing was for sure.

I was completely in love with him.