Insanity ☆ II

six.

" don't depend too much on
anyone in this world,
because even your shadow
leaves you when you're
in darkness. "

☆.·:*¨six¨*:·. ☆

     IT HAD BEEN WEEKS SINCE the incident, and Noah was finally starting to feel like himself again - keyword; starting. It was now October, and he still hadn't opened up to anyone about his feelings, but that's what his writing was for. He was finally clearing his head of all his pent up thoughts and emotions, and he was proud of himself. It still pained him to look at the shirt he wore that night, the photos of him and Marilyn that he had hidden in his draws, and even her place on the bed, where she would sit and do her homework while he would sneak glances at her perfect face. He still felt the pain, but he chose to harness that pain and turn it into something instead of being a zombie, like someone else he knew.

     George had heard from Charlie that Bella was in a horrible state. She would lock herself in her room and just stare out her window for hours. She would not eat and would not talk to Charlie, who was extremely worried about her. At lunch, Noah would see Bella sitting at the Cullen table, refusing to accept that they were gone. Noah wanted to join her so she would not feel so isolated, but he knew that sitting at their table would just make things worse. It would be like a step back from the progress he was making.

     He did try and talk to her at school, but she would just look away and walk in the opposite direction. It was as if she did not understand that he was going through the exact same thing, only he was better at hiding his emotions. George had asked him to go and see Bella on Thursday afternoon to try and get her to open up about her feelings, and Noah reluctantly agreed. It wasn't that he didn't want Bella to be happy, but Bella was starting to annoy Noah. It had been weeks, and she didn't understand the pain she was putting Charlie through. She wasn't letting go which made Noah feel bad for her, it made Noah pity her. That pity was the only reason Noah agreed.

     And so, Noah found himself driving the Impala on 6th street, parking on the side of the road. As he walked to the door he was met by Charlie walking outside, who's face was one of immense gratitude.

     "Thank you so much, Noah. I think that you're the best person to help her." Noah felt bad for Charlie. He could see the sadness radiating from his eyes as he looked up to Bella's room.

     "It's really no problem, Chief Swan."

     "Oh please, you can call me Charlie." He patted him on the shoulder, "How are... you?" It was easy to see that Charlie was not one for emotions. Noah respected this, as neither was he.

     Charlie was not as oblivious as Noah and Bella thought. Yes, he did not fully understand what made Edward Cullen so special as to cause that much pain to his only daughter. His only thought was that the Cullen boy was not special at all, but he was Bella's first love - just like May Cullen was probably Noah's first love too. Charlie had experience in heartbreak, so when Noah muttered the words 'I'm okay,' Charlie could easily see the truth in his eyes.

     Instead of continuing with the awkward conversation, Noah said goodbye to Charlie and walked through the unlocked door, up the stairs, and to Bella's depressing room. He knocked on the door, knowing that she was not going to answer. He gently pushed open the door and there she was, just sitting there. Sitting at her desk chair, facing the window, a dark purple hoodie draped over her thinning frame. Her hoodie was the same colour as the bags underneath her closed-off eyes, and she didn't even blink an eye as Noah let himself into her room.

     He closed the door behind him, taking a seat on Bella's unmade bed. He clasped his hands together as the awkward silence endured, not knowing where to start.