Insanity ☆ II

three.

"i feel the end is drawing near,
would time be so kind to slow?
you are everything
to me, my dear -
you are all i really know.

but as i sit and wait and fear
and watch the hours go -
everything that happened here
happened long ago."

☆.·:*¨three¨*:·. ☆

     THE ROOM WAS SILENT. ALL that could be heard was the soft collision of metal and ceramic, accompanied by the flickering of a candle. Carlisle was gently removing the shards of glass from the wound on Bella's arm, and Marilyn was gently wiping away the remaining blood. Mari had to admit that even she was surprised by her level of control.

     "I never wanted to have a party." Bella tried breaking the disturbing silence, obviously uncomfortable. Carlisle and Mari softly huffed out a laugh, and continued to clean her up.

     "It's not your fault." Carlisle smiled gently, trying to comfort the girl, "Jasper hasn't been away from human blood as long as the rest of us."

     "How do you do it?" Bella questioned, looking between the two vampires.

     "Years and years of practice." Carlisle removed another shard of glass.

     "What about you, Marilyn? You're more comfortable around blood than Edward, despite being changed later."

     Marilyn replaced her wet cloth, "When I was human, I wanted to be a doctor. Women were only recently allowed to explore such professions, and the brave women who did were rumoured to have trouble finding husbands. My mother never allowed me to study medicine for this reason. But, when I became immortal, I promised myself that when I had gained enough self control, I would study medicine. Until then, I've been working with Carlisle to overcome my lust for human blood."

     "And you've come a long way." Her adopted father smiled at her, causing a humble sense of pride to overcome her features.

     "Did you ever think of -" Bella hesitated, "- Just doing it the easy way?"

     "I regret to say that at times, the thought crossed my mind, just like it does for every-" Marilyn looked at Carlisle, "- almost every, newborn vampire. It would be like giving in to an addiction - the thought of finally being free of pain, versus the pain that you would bring others. Those thoughts fight amongst each other, providing the perfect inner turmoil."

     "Wow." Bella was beginning to truely understand what it felt like to be a vampire. "'Except Carlisle'?"

     "The thought never crossed my mind. I knew who I wanted to be - I wanted to help people. It brings me happiness, even if I am damned regardless."

     "Damned? Like - hell?" And by his pained expression, she knew her assumptions were true.

     "Carlisle, you couldn't be damned. You just couldn't, it's impossible." Bella shook her head, watching as Carlisle had begun to stitch up the wound. She winced in pain.

     "I agree." Marilyn spoke up, glancing at her adoptive father, "You've never been greedy, cruel, or hateful. You've never taken away someone's life."

     "I've taken many lives, including Edward's, Esme's, Rosalie's, Emmett's, and yours - not to mention the countless animals I've slaughtered."

     "You didn't take away our lives - you gave us another chance. You saved us - without you, I would be rotting in a box in the ground. I wouldn't have met Noah, Bella, Edward, Jasper, or anyone in this family! And as for the animals, you did what you had to to survive. People kill animals every day, and yet I am positive that they do not go to hell."