See my days are cold without you
But I'm hurtin while I'm with you
And though my heart can't take no more
I keep on running back to you
Baby I don't know why ya treatin me so bad
You said you love me, no one above me
And I was all you had
And though my heart is eating for ya
I can't stop crying, I don't know how
I allow you to treat me this way and still I stay
-Ashanti
_______________________
Jacob Pov
It's been two weeks since everything that has happen. Me and Chres still aren't talking, well... More like I'm ignoring him. Ray and I told Craig what happen between us that night because Ray claimed he felt guilty about it. Craig went off the walls and ignored Ray for three days and then lock himself and Ray in my guest room for a whole day. Lets just say when Ray came out the next day that limp was hard not to miss.
I also found out some scary but exciting news. I'm pregnant. At first I thought it was a lie but then the doctor explain to me how male pregnancy is a rare case. Then told me I was two and a half months pregnant two weeks ago so now I'm three months. He said I wouldn't really start to show till after four months. I have a little pudge but you barely even notice it unless I'm wearing a tight shirt. Chresanto doesn't know yet and quite frankly I don't plan on telling him until he gets his shit together.
My mom freaked out when I told her and Craig passed out whereas Ray was happy he was gonna be a uncle. My cravings are weird but I don't mind. Like right now; I'm eating pickles with nutella. It's so delicious.
I zone back into the movie that I'm watching. It was the Note Book. I love this movie. I was watching it by myself because everyone else is busy. It was raining out side so a movie sound like a perfect plan. I was at the part when they were kissing in the rain when the door bell ranged. I huffed and mentally killed this person in my head. I walk to the door hearing the soft padding of my feet on the floor. I open the door to give this person a peace of my mind but soft plump lips landed on mine. Ooh this dirty motherfucker.
Chresanto Pov
Jacob. That's the only that's been on my mind. I can't sleep or eat knowing that I hurt him again. I know I gotta get my shit together. But I'm trying. He should understand where I'm coming from. I'm use to being with girls. He is the only boy I ever love. I love him so much it hurts.
I puffed another air of smoke out my mouth as I try and let the weed calm my nerves. I text and call him but I get no reply. I left voicemails telling him how sorry I am but I don't get a response. I felt the sting in my eyes and I knew the tears where coming.
Why am I so stupid? I keep fucking with his heart and hurting him. I just want Jacob back. I swear I won't ever hurt him again if he takes my back. I need him. I never needed someone as much as I need Jacob. I chucked to myself thinking about him.
I miss the way his smell light up the room and how he looks at me with so much love. I miss his soft bouncy curls and his small frame snuggled into me. I wanna see him blush at my complements and tell me he loves my kisses. I miss the way his nose turns up when he giggles. I wiped away the silent tears that ran down my face. I miss my baby boy.
I let out one more puff of smoke before grabbing me car keys and heading out the door. It was raining but I didn't care. I got in the car and sped to Jacobs house. I got out the car and jogged to his front door then ranged the door bell. My hands shook nervously as I heard the sounds of feet padding softly towards the door. It open to a gorgeous looking Jacob getting ready to yell but I stopped him.
With a kiss.
He was shock at first then realize who it was. He mumbled something and tried to push me away but I shook my head no. I felt tears falling freely down my face as he tried to push my away. I held his face tighter and kissed him desperately. He beat on my chest and kicked at my legs. I pulled back and looked at him; takinh a deep breath.
"Please Jacob..." I cried; stroking his cheek softly.
"What the hell Chresanto.." He whispered.
"Please Jacob." I sobbed. " I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I was wrong for what I did. Please forgive me." I wiped my nose.
His eyes soften and he looked me over. He let out a quiet gasp before looking back at me. He lifted a shaky hand to my face and caress it softly.
"Chresanto..." He spoke softly. "Are you okay?"
Jacob Pov
He looked absolutely horrible. His figure was smaller then normal and he had bags under his eyes. His skin was pale looking and his cloths were wrinkle. Hair greasy, and looked sleep deprive.
"Jacob I'm sorry... I'm sorry baby boy.." He whispered over and over again.
I dragged him in the house and closed the door. He latched on to me and hugged me tight. I could smell the smell of weed on him. I sigh and dragged him to the living room. We sat down and I just stared at him.
"Chres... Have you been taking care of yourself since we lasted talk?" I asked softly.
"I can't eat or sleep with out you baby. I couldn't function. I messed up. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry.." He started to cry.
"Hey.. It's okay.." I rubbed his back and felt tears come to me eyes.
"Please don't leave Jacob. I won't let it happen again..." He said quietly.
I looked into his red teary eyes. I saw truth in them. I also seen a man that would break if I said no. I love Chresanto and it hurts me to see him act like this. So sad and broken. He is my heart and soul, and I would do anything for him.
"I won't leave baby." I kissed his forehead. "Lets go cuddle and rest then get some food in you." He nodded his head and grabbed my hand.
I tugged him up the stairs to my new room. We laid down with him in between my legs with his head on my stomach. For a second there I was scared he knew but he quickly told me he loved the way my stomach felt. That it was nice and soft. I sigh quietly and ran my fingers threw Chres hair and he slowly feel asleep like that.
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