Stuff

This is my suicide note. I'm DONE 'living'.

You know what? I was supposed to post something on 09 23 18 at around midnight. It was not just any post like the others. It was a PMV. For the first time in my entire life, I made a fucking PMV.

Yeah, it sucked because it was my first time, but I was actually proud at myself for a second because I actually finished an entire video.

When the UNEXPECTED happened.

It crashed.
Like, the app I fucking used crashed. Right there, in front of my own fucking eyes.

I looked for the video everywhere, trying to recover it and some shit like that, but it was no where to be seen.

The piece of shit I made was gone. Just like that.

The blood and sweat I put into it, God...

The time, the effort, the headaches, my sanity.

Gone. All gone. Just in one. Fucking. Snap.
It's gone.

I wanted to screan at the top of my lungs until my voice sounds hoarse.
Cry until my tears run out.
Cut until my skin is full of scars.
Just fucking die.

Ugh, NOW I regret having given the talent of art and creativity.
NOW I WISH to be one of those nobodies who got no talent and just to surf Facebook whole day.

I want to beat the LIFE out of this damn tablet, RESTART this thing once more.

I want to punch myself until my skin turns purple.

Punch someone in the face and break their nose.

ANYTHING to let ALL THESE emotions FUCKING out.

Have you experienced something like putting most of your effort and passion in a fucking project and just lose it right after you finished it?

Goddammn this stupid excuse of a life.

I still have some of the files of that PMV I made, but it won't fucking load.

I love how the whole world turns its back to you in just a snap of a finger :)