Finding My Lost Self [to be edited]

Chapter 25 - "I really like the way you smell,"

 Chap. 25

You know that feeling when something suddenly snaps in you? When you realize that you actually did care about someone more than you ever knew. And you only realize it the hard way; when you see them broken.

You feel like their desperation is seeping into you. Slowly and painfully. Making you want to help; to do anything to ease their pain, but you can't. You feel helpless, weak, and dull.

Tyler...

I hated to see him like this. His eyes were bloodshot. His hair was a mess and his nose and cheeks were flushed. For some reason, I never saw him as someone who could cry. And now I was pretty sure he did. Seeing him like this broke me.

I just wanted to hug him and rock him like a baby till he slept. He looked so vulnerable, more like a little kid.

I realized that all the devastation and the sadness that I was sensing from him every time I looked into his eyes was underestimated by me all this time. Because now, all of it was there right then, clear and evident as if it was all relevealed all at once.

I could see all of it now. And it was too much that it made my heart ache.

"Tyler..." I said, though it came out more like a faint whisper that I doubted that he'd heard it. I hadn't realized that my voice was gone until then. Tears were every where on my face already. 

I hated to see him like this... it made me feel weak.

He just stared at me as if I woud just disappear any minute. He tilted his head to the side as if he was inspecting something or memorizing some details. I suddenly felt self conscious.

Maybe he was just grossed out by the fact that my hair looked like a nest?

What the fuck was I thinking, now!!

Focus, Samantha, focus.

I shook my head and decided to concentrate on the matter in hand. "Tyler," I started. "It's raining, let's get you to the beach house," I said.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked coldly, and before I could realize it, his 24/7 emotionless mask was back on.

I felt hurt. Like what the heck? I wanted to come and save his ass, and now he was practically telling me to sod off?

'Stay calm, Sam. He's probably drunk,' My subconscious reminded me as I glanced at the bottle in his hand.

I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair before I looked back up at him. I couldn't just leave him, I cared for him. Turned out that I discovered another fact about my abnormal self:

I had a thing for drunk, devastated guys.

I took a deep breath and approached towards him, but then he snapped at me,

"I don't want your pity! Go away!" He exclaimed. I was taken aback. The cold breeze felt even colder against my tear stained cheeks and my lower lip quivered from the cold.

"Tyler... You're drunk." I said as I approached him cautiously. "Please, let me help you," I pleaded.

"No!" He exclaimed. "Run off to Parker, he probably needs your help more," He said.

I was shocked at this. Why the hell was he bringing Jason into this? What the hell did he even have to do with this? My anger started to resurface.

'He's just drunk, Sam. Bear with him,' My subconscious reminded me as it tried to show me reason. However, I shut it out.

"What's your problem?" I snapped at him. "What the hell does Jason even have to do with this?" I exclaimed.