02. entry

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[ I'M NOT SORRY FOR
WANTING WHAT I DESERVE.

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO WALK AWAY
TO FIND IT !
— r.h. sin. ]

Dear diary,

What else am I insecure about? Hmm let's see, my nose definitely.

I think the probable reason I'm writing in a diary that hopefully no one will read is the fact that no one will judge me.

I mean come on, do you think someone would want to hear my pity story about me being fat? They'd probably laugh at me.

And if I told them I had an insecurity about my nose, of all things they'll tell me to shut up. Then they'll compare me to the less fortunate, the ones who're blind, the ones who don't have parts of their body and call me petty.

I am sorry.

I understand. I'm better off than them in most ways. I was born into an upper class family, for whatever I wanted whenever I asked for it. I got food on the table everyday, had water whenever I desired it. I do not have any part missing from my body and I do not have any visible disease or anything.

I am blessed than most.

But just because I'm blessed, is it wrong for me to talk about the troubles that I do have? At least grant me this please.

I am aware that my troubles are nothing compared to other people. That some of my troubles are petty and only because of the low self esteem I have.

But I also have some serious troubles as well.

Also even though these troubles may be petty for some people, they are not petty for me. I'm sorry, I cannot be selfless and say that I'm born with a lot of things. I'm human so please let me worry.

My nose is fat and short. When you look at it sideways, it has a very perfect shape. But if you look at it straight it's very wide. Also, it's like it has divided into three sections and honestly to me, it looks ugly.

It takes half of my face and it's the root of my insecurities.

That's all I can say.

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