The Constellation Was Ours [sequel to The Fault In Our Stars]

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Mom, I never agreed to do anything with him." I told her.

"Yes you did! Remember? We were at the park, and you said-" Grant said.

"Ugh, first off I didn't, I didn't say any of that. Second off, I can't. Not right now." I said, plainly annoyed and angered by the boy’s arrogance and bluntness. He wouldn’t just leave me alone.

Meanwhile my mom just kept switching her gaze from him to me, carefully watching the conversation unfold.

"I just don't see why not." He continued, head tilted to side. "Care to explain?"

“Fine, then.  I will.  I have cancer, and a while ago, I was diagnosed with depression.  My mom made me go to support group, which resulted in me meeting Augustus Waters.”  I wasn’t sure why I was explaining, telling him the worst and best periods of mylife, while my mother was watching, while I barely knew Grant, but it just seemed that my patience was wearing off. “He had this whole thing about metaphors and- he spent his Wish on a trip to Amsterdam, so we could both meet the author of my favorite book.  We had the most amazing time, but then he told me that-” I bursted into tears.

“Hazel Grace-” Mom interrupted.

“HE’S GODDAMN DEAD, OKAY? He’s dead.”

The room settled to one of the most uncomfortable silences I’ve experienced.  Mother stood there, lips pursed like she wanted to apologize to Grant and at the same time try to console me.  Grant stood, his head down, examining the patterned floor, while his breath had almost disappeared.  I considered the fact that I should speak up and break the silence, but I thought Mom ought to.  Besides, I didn’t have much to say anymore.

But instead of Mom speaking, Grant did.  

“I’m sorry.” he said

“Me too.”

Five minutes later, Grant decided that it was best to leave me in this unstable state of emotional wreckage.  He left only with a simple goodbye, and the moment he disappeared, my mom scolded me about my sudden outburst.  However, I wasn’t really listening.  Why did Augustus have to die?  He had so much to offer.  He had yet to make his mark on the world when I knew I could not.

My mom finally left me alone.I struggled on the stairs and dragged my tank up with me before collapsing on the bed.  Why did I have to blurt out the story of my dead boyfriend?

So many people in this world pity us, the cancer patients.  They think of us like we’re lower than them, that there is something wrong with us that they want to fix.  And I guess, it’s true in a certain degree.  But some of us, just don’t want their pity.  

There wasn’t anymore visitors today.  I assume my mom told Isaac not to come, due to our last one.

…

About a week after, I went to the park.  I sat down exactly where I sat the previous time before, and waited.  I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for, but I waited.  That always seems to be the case.  I’m just waiting alone, not knowing yet knowing exactly of what is to come.  Life’s just like that.  Except some people have someone.  I don’t, not anymore.

It was lonely.  Strangely, there was only a handful of children playing.  It took me a few moments to realize that one of the ‘children’ was Grant.  

“Hey,” he said, as he approached.

“Hi”

“I’m sorry.” He sat down once again next to me.  I let his apology linger longer than it was needed, causing him to shift in his seat. “Hazel?”

“What?”

He hesitated, “Hazel Grace..”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s your name isn’t it?” He asked after a moment.  “Hazel Grace..”

And once again, we were both silent.

Wohoo, another short chapter. I may end up apologizing throughout this whole book, because I am unsure of where this is going to go. ANYWAY I probably won't be able to update next Friday, because I'm going to be out of town, next week (well I'll be back by Friday, but I think I'll be a tad bit tired.) Plus I've been writing these chapters in the librabry, and I'm not going to be going to the library anymore, as this is the last time. But I promise to have this chapter edited by next Friday, and even add something to the chapter to make it worthwhile. It won't be a whole chapter, but rather a continuation of this chapter ON this chapter. So if you would like, you could reread this on Saturday, and hopefully it'll be a little bit longer! Thank you so much for reading, i love you guy so much, xx it's just so hard to write in John Green's style, and I don't want to ruin his masterpiece, or disrupt Hazel's personality. I'm scared this is going to end up way too cliche, and now I understand why John Green didn't keep writing. I will do my best to continue this story as best as I can, but if I cannot (I promise you this is not likely because I truly want to make something out of this, I will make an Imperial Affliction or something. Again thank you for reading, and all of your support. I hope you enjoyed this awfuly short chapter because I don't even know what to write. I mean I have a general idea of what I'm going to write, I'm just not sure what. Okay I'm not making any sense, and this Author Note is becoming way too long, so I'm just going to shut up now.

Damnnit my spacing is all messed up.

--EDIT PLEASE READ-

Okay, I just copied the edited version to here, sorry for not adding anything. I was absolutely exhausted, and it was my mom's birthday. I also wanted to say that I'm not sure when I will be able to update because school is starting soon. I have a lot on my plate this year, including applying to schools, and the science fair, and being on the newspaper, and writing this essay for the contest, and stuff. Plus homework and school. I'll try my best to write whenever I can. Hope I don't loose any fans due to the lack of updates.