The Constellation Was Ours [sequel to The Fault In Our Stars]

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Weeks went by, and the emptiness remained. My mother decided I was depressed, once again. However, this time, I didn't object. Although I never laid another finger on the famous An Imperial Affliction, I began watching reruns of America's Next Top Model endlessly. With Augustus dead, I couldn't bring myself to do anything. Isaac would came by every so often to cheer me up.

Sometimes I hope that his picture appears on my cellphone screen at 2:00 a.m. To hear the familiar voice of Gus greeting me with the familiar Hazel Grace. But I know that it isn't real, it wouldn't be real. Remember how I said depression is a side effect of dying? Well, another side effect of dying? Hope. Hope is another. And I, Hazel Grace Lancaster, hope for Augustus to make his beautiful reappearance. I am dying.

Augustus's letter lies in my drawer. After continuous crying and tearing at my wilting soul, I decided to fold up the piece of paper and hide it from myself. And along with it, lied An Imperial Affliction.

My mom let me stop going to Support Group, even though I was depressed. I didn't have to hear Patrick's long story of how he survived. I didn't have to hear Augustus's name on the excruciatingly long list. And I didn't need to be reminded of him.

One day, I was forced to take a trip to the mall. My mom insisted that I'd go, getting worried about my horrible state, and of course I went, for the sake of my parents and to reassure them.

"Mom, I am not going to the mall." I said

"Please, just one trip, Hazel. You know your dad and I hate to see you depressed." my mom pleaded.

"I know, I'm sorry. Just, I need to be alone." I answered morosely.

"Come on, you've been watching the same episode for the fifth time today," she exclaimed.

"It's not like going to the mall is going to help. Look what happened the last time you made me go somewhere." I said, with a small sigh.

"I'm sorry. But just this once. I won't ask you again." And she knew I couldn't have said no to her.

We pulled into the parking lot, at 2:34. It was a Tuesday afternoon, yet the parking lot was full. I rolled my head back, and closed my eyes, picturing the boy with short mahogany hair, an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. God, I miss him, I miss him, I miss him...

"Come on, Hazel!"

I swung the car door open, and stepped out dragging my oxygen tank with me remembering the last time I was forced to go somewhere.

The shopping trip was boring, as usual. And it even made me more depressed than before. By the time we reached the third shop, I wasn't paying any attention to what my mom was buying, or picking for that matter, or what shop we were at. Several times she would call my name, asking me if I liked a certain outfit or top, but never was I honestly answering. Instead I let my mind wander off. After my mom found a few t-shirts that she thought were cute, we stepped up to the register to pay. I had barely taken a glance at the several pieces of clothing bundled up next to the cash register, and the lady who rang us up. I was staring blankly at the double glass doors. And while I did, I saw a boy.

This is when I grew hopeful. I blinked twice, three times even, but I was sure it was not a subtle hallucination. He had the same mahogany hair, and seemed to be the same height. He walked in, and disappeared into an isle.

"Mom, I got to go do something." I said. She looked it me, her eyes wide. "I just saw a shirt I liked, I'll be back quickly!" I tried to reassure her. She still seemed surprised as I hadn't spoken one word since we arrived at the mall.

I dragged my tank, and I followed him. He wandered through the aisles, quite a few of them.

"Gus?" He didn't reply. Instead he kept walking. There was a chance he hadn't heard me. I continued to follow him. I couldn't keep up, as he turned the corner of another isle. I had to stop, to catch my breath. Come on. Not now is the time. My crappy lungs were having a difficult time when I needed them the most. I turned the corner, into the next aisle and he was gone. I searched the next few aisles, but the boy was nowhere to be seen.

I recall one afternoon, when Augustus was miserable (a day or so after he pissed himself), he told me that life is unfair. He repeated it for awhile. Then he whispered a quote from An Imperial Affliction, "Always is an infinity and a promise you cannot keep." Soon after, I realized he was referring to my favorite book. He then continued, not with a quote of Peter Van Houten, but with a quote from himself. "But okay is a promise I can keep. That you'll be okay. And so will we."

I found my way back to the register through the maze of isles. My mother stood there, staring at me with worry.

"Is everything all right?"

I nodded. Even though I wasn't. Nothing was at the time.

I didn't tell my mother about the incident either. I decided to go back into hibernation, and stay in my room, staring at the wall. It has run across my mind that maybe I was going crazy. But whether I was or not, everything would still be the same. There's nothing I could do about it, it's a side effect of dying. Everything is.

"Hazel! Issac's here." My mom shouted.

"Okay." I said, uncertain whether she heard me or not. In my doorway, stood Issac.

"Hey!" he said.

I didn't respond.

"I brought you a new book to read." He handed it to me, and I took a look at the cover.

"What is it about?" I asked. The book was called Sappy Song.

"I'm not exactly sure. Monica gave it to me before we broke up. It's been sitting on my desk for quite a while. And I didn't really want another reminder of her. Or that book anyways. I haven't gotten the chance to read it after..."

"Oh." I interrupted him.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm okay." I shut my eyes, taking a shaky breath. I lied down on my bed, and once again the devil itself (pain) began in the center of my head. It demands to be felt.

A/N: Okay, yes it's a short chapter! Sorry! Hope you liked itttt! :3 Shout out to @fanficwriter_123 for attempting for a cover! Thanks so much! Cover on the side!

Dedication to @sinsitivity for editing and adding color to this chapter :D