You Capture My Attention (GxG)

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Em..." I whispered finally as her confession was being splayed out to me. She didn't look at me though; refusing to meet my eyes. I still couldn't speak though; despite the need to.

"You always wanted to be around her, but it wouldn't click in my head that it was something else." She smiled, shaking her head down. Clenching my jaw, I felt the need to place my hand upon her shoulders. "I was foolish; in thinking coming all this way would just change everything. But when you hear that the girl whom you loved, and you thought to be dead, was alive and well... in America," She finally looked towards me now, "You... just lose your mind. You don't think about the consequences of your choices then. You get on a plane and fly thousands of miles around the world." She said, rolling her eyes, "You get a dead-end job at some restaurant, you... just make an utter fool of yourself. You sell the house you just bought because you wanted to be around her... you want to try and push yourself back into her life because she was all you know. But you know... you know she's changed. You know she's grown apart from you and you know she's moved on. And you see her with the girl that was once you." I watched as more tears fall down her cheeks now, her rant continuing, "You hope that it's just a passing thing; that maybe the new girl doesn't return the feelings..." She took a deep breath, locking eyes with me, "But then you see the little moments they share together, and you know. You just know what's going on. I've known, deep down, for a while now. I saw the way you'd look at her, the way you'd avoid her sometimes, the lack of connection we had. Why didn't you just tell me...?"

"Emalie..." I licked my lips, "It wasn't meant to happen like this... when you came back, everything was just crazy. I wasn't expecting it, not that I don't love you back in my life again, because I do..." I smiled reassuringly, but the look didn't change on her face, "But..." I sighed, closing my eyes in defeat. "I didn't believe it myself. I did try with you, but..." I couldn't bring myself to say it. I couldn't bring myself to admit those feelings aloud to her. My head dropped as I felt as if I betrayed my friend. However, she placed a finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to meet hers. She gave me a knowing smile as her hand dropped to my shoulder.

"You love her." It wasn't a question; she had made it a statement.

"Emalie..." I frowned, trying my best to not admit it.

"It's okay, Lyn. I get it; she's amazing. She's adorable, talented, beautiful, funny, smart, and so much more. I get it." Her voice seemed small as she spoke. "I don't blame you falling for her."

"I'm sorry... I never meant for this to happen." I said honestly, "She just..."

"Makes you whole again." She finished, offering me a sad smile. "It's okay, Lyn. That's all I've ever wanted for you; to be happy."

"I feel like a piece of shit." I sighed, leaning up against the railing of the patio, "I never wanted to hurt you. I just... denied my feelings for so long. And it made you a casualty of it. Valerie and I just... I don't really know how to explain it. Can you ever forgive me though?" I asked, my fear growing.

"Of course, I can, what do you take me for?" She laughed lightly, though the pain was obvious behind it. "Besides, I kind of have a thing with Ana now..." She blushed, causing me to raise my brows in interest.

"Is that so?" A smirk forming on my face now.

"I like her a lot... she's kind to me and she texted me constantly when I found those pictures of you and Valerie..." She shrugged her shoulders. "So... are you two dating?"

"No, we aren't." I offered a small smile, running a hand through my tangled mess of locks. "I haven't really gotten the chance to do anything, plus with her being sick... it didn't seem appropriate."

"Is she okay? She looked a little pale." Despite all the pain, I put her through, she was genuinely concerned.

"I think so, I took her to New York and we were there for a few days before coming back," I said as I dug my fingers into the railing.