Primadonna [BNHA]

PRIMADONNA WARNINGS

"Breaking news! A new story called 'Primadonna' by the writer-fuck! Why the hell am I doing this?!" Katsuki slams his hands on the table and stands up abruptly, letting the chair he was on fall back and question its creation.

The director and the man holding the cue cards look at each other with worried eyes, "The author thought you'd be the best candidate to warn the audience about the story-"

"Fuck that talentless author! Why am I wearing a suit in a news station for this?!" He points at the director and picks up the empty coffee cup, chucking it out of the nearby window.

"Lord have mercy on this child's soul." The author says under her breath, standing behind him. "Oh." Katsuki slightly jumps at her sudden voice, going rigid and wide eyed.

"Let's get this done with so you can be an ugly teen somewhere else." The author sits down on the chair

"Fuck you!"

"Uh no, I'm a god." She scoffs and flips her dark brown hair. Katsuki looks at her in disgust, "You're wearing your pajamas? Really?" The author smiles, pulling out a half empty smoothie from under the table and putting the straw between her lips, ignoring the boys question, "Go on Boomshakalaka."

"What the f-?!"

The author stops him mid sentence, "It's a reference, losers wouldn't understand. Unless you read my other story Young! Which is a gender neutral-!" Katsuki pushes the author's smoothie up which makes the straw go in her nose. Katsuki watches as the girl puts the cup down and mumble out words close to curses.

The author was calm on the outside but secretly thinking of ways to write a chapter humiliating the boy for payback on the inside.

"Promote that shit story somewhere else." Katsuki smirks to himself and places his feet on the table, leaning back on his chair. "The first fucking warning is inappropriate language. The reader swears like a damn ugly ass sailor in this."

The author and basically anyone else in the room stop what they're doing and stare at the male. They all make the same 'really?' look. Katsuki frowns, "What, assholes?"

The director tells the camera man to pan to the author, which he does gladly because no one is dealing with the blond's lies today. The author sips on her smoothie for a second then clears her throat, "But, seriously strong language, sexual innuendos, and crazy made up words will show up! Kinda obvious when you're reading slash writing a Katsuki x reader story."

"Did you actually say slash?"

"I'll slash you." The author glares at the boy, daring him to say something.

Kastuki glares back in challenge, "What are you going to do?"

The author grabs the boy's feet effortlessly and pulls them up, making the boy leaning on the chair fall back.

The director mentally gives the author a high five, which the girl gladly returns.

"Violence of course, will also be in this mediocre story." Her tone is rather boring now, sad that the only funny and interesting thing going on in this warning chapter is Katsuki being on the floor. The blond fuming on the floor in intense rage from having to deal with an author who harbors the mindset of a five year old.

"This is a damn action manga inspired story with heroes and villains! It's fucking obvious people are going to get their asses beat." The author raises a hand, "Very small violence actually. I'm crap at writing any action scenes. Sorry fam." The girl shrugs and spins her chair, bored out of her mind already.

"Shouldn't you warn your ugly audience the update schedule?" Katsuki smirks at the girl, knowing the authors response.

The girl cringes, scratching the back of her neck before smiling at the camera. "Uh.. well you see.. updates will be-be uh." Katsuki grins maniacally at the camera before laughing condescendingly, "Fucking never! She barely fucking updates this shit story!"

"Leave me alone! It's a hard story to write!" The author sniffles, tears building up in her eyes, guilt filling her heart and body. She's terribly saddened over the fact that so many people have supported her story when it rarely sees the light of day.

"A six year old could write this!" Katsuki fires back, annoyed that he has to put up being written unlike himself and over such long periods of time. "You don't even have my character right!"

"I'm crying yo, don't make me start sobbing." The author wipes the snot from her runny nose off with her sleeve. "It's true you're OOC but I'm trying! You're just so complicated! You ain't even that special!" The author tries to hurt him this time but the males ego was too big for her puny disses.

"That's the other fucking warning. The dumb author can't write characters properly."

The camera has zoomed in on Katsuki who's now watching the author cry like a baby. The director stands up and tries to console the girl but only gets tackled to the floor when she bear hugs him. "Jung Hoseok wouldn't treat me this way!"

Katsuki swipes the papers from the table, jumping over it and going to the camera before facing it solely on him, "Fuck all that shit! Fuck all that Bagtan Sonyeondan shit! This is about me bitches!" The man who was working the camera slowly backed away, accidentally pushing the man holding the que cards down. He tries to stand to stop himself from falling but ends up tripping on his own feet and knocking the table holding different kind of objects down.

One of the objects makes it all the way to a standing stage light, the impact making it slam to the floor and sparks go off. The crew is too busy picking up the mess to notice that a spark hit a curtain on the wall. The author is still crying in hysterics while Katsuki mocked her and the director for being stuck beneath her sobbing. The curtains are progressively catching flame and rising, moving throughout the wall. It isn't until smoke hits one of the camera mans vision that it's finally noticed, "Fire! Holy fuck it's a fire!"

He runs out of the door, not bothering to be rational or worrying for his fellow coworkers.

The crew is quick to move but the man who was previously holding the cue cards tries to act calm, "Everyone! Please leave in an orderly-" he's pushed to the ground by a woman in sunglasses, "Move, I'm gay!" The woman runs out of the doors with others following behind her. The defeated man looks over to the main cast only to find that they were completely unbothered. Except for the director who somehow made an escape and was now helping his friend out of the building.

The camera man gives up on warning the two teens and leaves, letting the giant camera go. The author is yelling now, frustrated with herself enough to start throwing things. Katsuki smiles at her actions and takes off his jacket, letting an explosion go off in his hand and setting the article of clothing on fire. "Hell has no fury like I do you fuckers!" He shouts before raging with the author. The camera continues to slowly move, now facing a female calmly eating donuts.

When you take a better look, you can clearly see the reader with white powder on her face eating a donut. Not at all worried about the approaching fire or lunatic characters near her.

She looks at the now empty box of donuts them at the camera with a still red light on, indicating that it was still rolling and broadcasting. "It's cocaine.."

A burning piece of wood falls from the ceiling, landing on top of the camera and ending the live broadcast.

NOW ENTERING "PRIMADONNA" STORY...