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pt. 10

I spent the rest of the day catching up on the schoolwork I'd been putting off, nothing important. My mind soon wandered to the night of my birthday, a few days after Jenna happened. I was going to go to Tyler's to see if we could some how fix what happened, but when I got to his apartment Jenna answered the door.

"Oh, it's the little slut that tried to steal my boyfriend."

I tried to ignore her comment and asked where Tyler was. "He's out buying condoms for us," she said with a smirk on her face. She must have seen the hurt in my expression because she continued to kick me while I was down. "Aw, what did you think? Did you think Tyler actually had feelings for you? Ha, as if." She slammed the door in my face.

A few days later I ran into Debby, Josh's girlfriend. "Hey, Aurora."

"Hey Debby."

"Have you talked to Tyler lately? He's really sorry about what happened, we all are really. Jenna is a little obsessive."

I remember a look of disgust passing over my face, "Is that why he's still screwing her?"

Debby was shocked, "What?"

I rolled my eyes, "I stopped by the other day, Jenna said he was out buying condoms for them. I mean I should have known be-"

Debby cut me off, still surprised, "What?! The other day Tyler was with Josh and I talking about how much he misses you, trying to figure out how to make Jenna leave. I think he was in love with you Aurora, can't you see that? Are you too blind or self hating to realize that someone does love you? You keep pushing him away. He's trying."

I was taken aback by her words, but I realize now that they are true. Tyler has been trying to make things right, and I do just keep pushing him away. Maybe we can fix this, kiss and make up.

The day of the show came quicker than I thought it would, and I found myself getting ready to go see the boy I love play in a band that I named even though we were never really together and we never really broke up.

The show was in a small venue I'd never been to before, it was kind of a quiet, cozy little place. I guessed that Tyler and Josh had been working on this band for awhile and just never told anyone about it. I chose a seat in the back, trying to keep my distance from their group of friends. They came on stage wearing matching white tshirts, black jeans, and red vans.

I was sort of shocked to see Josh go to the drums, but not too much. He looked the part at least. Then Tyler made his way to the piano and sat down.

"So," he started, looking into the audiance. "this is our first show like, ever, so please forgive us if these songs are a little too weird." I smile and he continues, "This first song we're going to play is called Holding On To You."

He starts playing piano, accompanied by synths coming from the speakers and Josh's drums. I was anticipating hearing Tyler sing, but to my surprise he started rapping, "I'm taking over my body, back in control no more shotty. I bet a lot of me was lost, t's uncrossed and i's undotted. I fought it a lot and it seems a lot like flesh is all I got, not anymore, flesh out the door. Swat."

The song was intoxicating, really the whole show was. I resonated with everthing Tyler was talking about, almost like we were the same person. It was comforting and depressing in a way because Tyler needs someone to light up the darkness in his life, not make it darker. When the show was over, Tyler found me. I wasn't sure if he'd seen me or not, but I realized he must of when I felt him tap my shoulder.

"Aurora?" He was hot and sweaty, still panting from running around on stage.

I felt my heart drop and rise all at once, butterflies in my stomach. "The show was amazing, Tyler. You've really got a knack for it."

"Aurora I love you," he blurted out, dismissing my compliment.

After coming to the conclusion that Tyler needed someone brighter, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I love him too, no matter how true it might be. "Tyler."

"I'm really sorry about what happened, but I wasn't sleeping with Jenna. I've never slept with anyone. I dated Jenna in high school and she hasn't left me alone ever since. I'm so, so sorry I really am. It's crazy though, because we didn't even know each other for that long but these weeks without you have been the most miserable of my life."

I felt my eyes tear up, "Tyler," I whispered this time.

"Yes?"

"I-I love you too." Tyler's whole face lit up at the one sentence I spoke, not knowing what I was going to say next. "But,"

"But?"

"But you deserve someone who is going to help you through everything you're going through, not make everything darker for you. You need a brightness, not more darkness. I want nothing more than to forget about all of this and move on with you, but I can't get over the feeling theat I'll be holding you down."

We were the last people in the venue now, and Tyler raised his voice, seemingly angry. "Aurora don't you get it? You are my brightness! It doesn't matter if you have your own dark thoughts, that's what relationships are about, conquering things together. You're the only one I want, we'll defeat whatever is tormenting us together, I promise you that."

I didn't want to fight with him anymore, and I wanted this as much as he did. He looked down at me and pulled me into his strong arms. I burried my face in his collarbone, wishing I could stay with him forever.