Butterfly || ĸooĸv

ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ ɴɪɴᴇ

Jungkook though? he felt like a failure last night. Now look at him, an actual fuck up. A fucking stupid father who left his daughter to drink. Jungkook closed his eyes, rolling up some toilet paper before wiping his mouth with it and flushing the toilet before leaning back. Just then his mom walked in and gave his a glass of water, Jungkook looking at his mother before taking it. "I don't need a lecture. I get it, i'm a horrible son and a horrible dad." He mumbled as he then gulped down some water.

Hanna sighed as she tried not to say anything but couldn't, ruffling up her own hair a bit. "She cried for you all night Jungkook. All night she was up most hours screaming for where her dad was.. and you were partying? For what? Finally realizing how hard it actually is to be a teen parent-" before she could continue, Jungkook laughed as he let out a shaky breath. "Why do I always get all the shit?" He asked, a bit out of it still.

"Jenah doesn't. Hell, Jenah gets praised for fucking off. Jenah gets fucking praised mom. I'm the one who is the parent. I'm the parent! Not Jenah. I raised Tayja from the minute she came into this world. From the minute Jenah left us. I was there! me! I should be getting praised, I should be the one being fucking praised. Instead I get shit. Instead I get lectures about how bad a father I am and maybe I am! but... but i'm also human too! Just because I'm a dad doesn't make any less human! I just— god."

Jungkook held his head. "I just wanted- I needed one night to forget everything. One fucking night because if I didn't, I was going to lose myself. I get that i'm a bad dad okay? I'm a bad son, brother, dad and even boyfriend so please, just fuck off already." Jungkook rested his head against the wall- wait- fuck- boyfriend. Shit shit shit.

Jungkook cursed under his breath before getting up and checking his pockets for his phone. Before he could even continue with his own, Hanna spoke. "You're not a bad son Jungkook— Heck I- I just didn't want you to have this life. Jungkook I wanted you to be successful. I wanted you to have a great teenage life and.. i'm sorry I couldn't give that to you and I couldn't step up to be a good mother. You're not a bad father either, or brother. I just.. I guess I just lost my way of being a parent along the way." She sighed. Jungkook couldn't believe what he was hearing, what did she say?

"You're the greatest father I know Jungkook. TayJa, she is lucky to have you as her dad. You will be the one to say you kept her when she was small. You can say you never left her side. You'll teach her to be respectful and she'll be a beautiful young woman. For now, that's your baby girl Jungkook and parenthood is not easy, never was easy. Teen or adult, it's the same. I don't praise Jenah Jungkook. I just want TayJa to be with her mom and dad and and- I understand you don't want Jenah, I understand that now." She looked at her son who was speechless.

"Last night... and all those days you started standing up to us made me realize that you are mature now Jungkook. You've grown. I just... can't accept that I couldn't raise you like how I wished. I couldn't accept that you were going to be a father and I still can't accept that you are because you had.. have your whole life ahead of you Jungkook. Your whole life and... now you have a kid." Hanna suddenly spoke out what she was feeling. It was sudden but since she had a lot of time to think, she realized a lot of things.

Then soon after Jungkook let out a chuckle with a shrug. "I love TayJa.. mom I do but.. what if I waited until I was older? When I was stable enough and everything was sorted.. when I had my life sorted. What if I waited? Now I have two other kids on the way and I'm not even eighteen yet.. I mean, i'll be eighteen when they arrive but.. since fourteen I had to grow up, I had to face adulthood and.. I don't want to anymore. It's hard and.. I was good at it, for awhile I got the hang of it but i'm going to have three kids mom, not one, three. Maybe if I waited then I wouldn't have fucked up my life or anyone else's." He had tears running down his cheeks.

"... If anything I should have had a condom. For both times. Regardless of gender I should have had a condom but I was fourteen mom. I was fourteen, confused, drunk and horny and... I didn't know what I could get myself into. Now i'm in this for life and I... I don't want it. I'm sick of it but I hate myself for thinking that way. Every single day I try to be a good dad. I make sure Tayja is fed and dressed. I make sure she's happy. I do everything for her. Everything! and yet I'm still the bad guy. Somehow someway i'm always the bad guy and maybe I am. Maybe I am the bad guy but what's so bad about wanting a break? Don't I deserve a break?" Jungkook asked as he sniffled. Wiping his tears, Jungkook shook his head.

"But I'm a parent now so I guess that's not an option huh?" Jungkook looked down at his hands as he held back his cry. Why the fuck was life so hard? For once, for once in a long time, Jungkook's mom pulled him in for a hug. They both hugged until Hanna smiled a bit. "You're doing a great job as a father Jungkook and I bet you'll do even greater when the two others arrive. Being a parent is hard and I know you know that. You've been sober for what? three years? You deserved a break but... you could have at least picked up the phone." She brushed Jungkook's hair back.

Jungkook for once felt like he had a mother. Not a judgemental one but a mother with pure intentions and it was weird honestly but it was so needed in that moment. "Being a parent is not your whole life. Of course it's a part of your life but not your whole life. You're still a person Jungkook. Just a person with responsibilities. I'm proud of you for coming back. And I'm even more proud of you for stepping up and being the best father you can be for your daughter and unborn children."

Hanna breathed out with a light chuckle. "Which I just found out, twins?" She asked and Jungkook chuckled, sniffing as he pulled away and nodded. The comforting words were really helping right now. Just having his mom say how proud she was of him made everything feel a bit better. "Mhm." He hummed. "Wait so- Taehyung.. is pregnant? I literally have been waiting to ask this-" she started off and finally, after years, Jungkook was able to talk to his mom without an actual argument.