Shortness of Breath

Chapter One

Casey - October Ninth

The most curious thing about living in the public eye is how quickly one life turns to two. My entire life, I'd taken care of Casey. No one else much cared what I did, what I said, what was going on in my house or what I was doing at work. But the first time Wilson ran for office, suddenly taking care of Casey wasn't my only responsibility; now I had to worry about not just what Casey was doing, but how Casey looked doing it.

Quickly, public relations had become my second life. The first life was the life I'd always had - getting through a day, pursuing what I chose, accomplishing that and beginning again. This new life, though, was experiencing my first life through the eyes of a stranger. Instead of simply living my own experiences, I now also read about them and watched them on television and listened to them on NPR. It was life not just as the actor, but also as the spectator.

On October ninth, I felt more like the reader of the newspaper than I felt like the person in it. I held the paper in my hands and read about some woman named Dr. Casey Kenny whose husband's affair with his PR agent had just broken national news. Poor Casey Kenny, I thought. Whoever she is.

And to be honest, I folded the paper and didn't pay it much mind. Nine times out of ten, I found my work infinitely more pressing than whatever was going on with my drama queen husband.

"Dr. Kenny," Hallie called, catching up to me in the hallway though I refused to slow down. "I heard they booked an emergency Cesarean in OR Three."

"You heard correctly," came my indifferent reply. "Patient was eight months along, passenger in a three-car collision. Ambulances are en route. I'm going to need a separate table."

"Can I-"

"Yes," I said. "Go prep an OR. But just so you know, I'm not just letting you scrub in because we're sleeping together."

"Christ, Case," she spat, just calling attention where none had previously existed. "Do you want to get fired?"

"They can't fire me for that, Hallie. They wouldn't lose their pediatric chief over something as ridiculous as...What's wrong with you? You look ill."

"Long night."

"You're hung over?"

"I'm still drunk."

"Hal..."

"Kidding, shit. Don't call a session of the ethics committee, Doctor Kenny."

"I worry about you."

"Everyone has vices."

"Dr. Kenny!"

I turned to face a voice I didn't recognize. Intern? Maybe I just didn't pay attention.

"Yes," I said skeptically.

"I saw you on the news last night. You looked awesome."

I sighed profoundly. "Thanks," I managed, dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry, have we..."

"Sadie," she said eagerly. "Sadie Halloway, I'm a first year resident but I've wanted to be a pediatric surgeon all my life, and...Oh my God, we're actually having a conversation. I'm conversing with Casey Kenny. Wow. Can I touch your hair?"

Hallie's eyes lit up in amusement as she caught my gaze, shook her head, and dismissed herself silently to let me deal with this on my own and, hopefully, to prep an OR.

"Um," I thought. "No. No, you can't. The press, was it good press?"

"Well, you know what they say, all press is good press, right? Or is it no press is bad press? All press is good press. No. Wait."