Shortness of Breath

Chapter Nineteen

Casey - October thirtieth

"Dissolution of marriage, huh?" Melena considered, turning the papers over and over again. "Well, that's a curve ball."

"What do you think?"

"I've always thought dissolution was a funny way of putting it. Considering that usually when a couple reaches this point, things have already been in the dissolving process for quite some time."

"You don't have to tell me," I assured her. "So what you're saying is that this isn't a surprise to you."

"The petition? Yes, it's very much a surprise. If he were to go through with this, you would've been served the petition, it would've required a joint affidavit on your part, you would've been involved every step of the way. So I don't know why you didn't know, why he wouldn't have discussed it with you, yes, that is definitely a surprise," she agreed. She put the papers down and leaned back in her chair. "The dissolution itself? Of course not, and I'm amazed you didn't see it coming either. From the way you've described it to me, I've seen sugar dissolve in coffee more slowly than your marriage."

"We've talked about separating indirectly," I tried explaining. "Things have been bad between us for a long, long time. But I didn't know he was actually in the process, I mean, there's legal work required there. He must've hired an attorney, obtained actual legal documents, gone through quite a bit of research, procedures...It's official, documented protocol. How long could he have kept this a secret?"

She shrugged. "How old is your son?"

"Eight. What does that matter?"

"Well he probably wasn't considering separating when he got you pregnant, so, at least a little while after that and any time within there he could've been talking it over with his lawyer. But as for the official petition, these papers are dated just a couple weeks back."

"That snake," I said under my breath. "That conniving son of a bitch."

"Yes, good, get this all out now because if you talk like this in open court we're both screwed."

"This just doesn't make sense," I continued. "I told him just last week that I wanted a divorce. And he just went on about how he still loved me, he just kept saying it, over and over and over. He didn't want a divorce, at least he pretended not to, and all while he was saying this, he was in the process of filing behind my back?"

"I wonder what else he did behind your back," she thought out loud.

I rolled my eyes and sat back. "I can think of one thing."

"Speaking of which," she shamelessly transitioned. "I've been meaning to ask you. How long had you been cheating on Wilson when he died?"

"Well goodness, that was abrupt."

"I'm your lawyer, Casey, not his mom."

"For years," I answered truthfully. "My first affair began when Emerson was six, so that'd be in 2006."

"Wouldn't that be when Cooper was born?"

"That's some math acumen you've got there," I emptily noted, wishing she hadn't put it in those terms. "Yes, it was months after Cooper was born."

"Is that a coincidence?"

"I'll plead postpartum depression if it helps my case," I offered. "Otherwise, I don't know. I was home with the kids all the time. I felt empty. I couldn't work, Wilson was always gone, and on top of that we hadn't had sex in months. Not since the fateful previous time, that is, and...I don't know. It isn't an excuse, but we all make mistakes when we're desperate."