The Unwritten Destiny

II. Introduction

Gaping at the stellar night sky above as an avalanche of tears left a trace on her cheeks, leaving her eyes puffy, several thoughts crossed her mind. T'was indeed already late but who could beat a demonizing thought each time it passed through her? Negative comments keep on replaying, bittersweet memories still leaving a mark within her, but fresh ideas have entered the scene.

Finally, an unusual beam has curved below her cheeks, she quickly stood up from where she was lying, grabbed a pen and a paper and started taking notes. Who would have thought a simple design can mean so much to her? It wasn't really the stars from the outside but the glow-in-the-dark stars that were glued to the ceiling that gave her frisson. They were from her mother, her mother who never gave up on her and who molded her to a strong and an independent woman she aspires to be.

It was easy to be one, right? Not for her, she has experienced getting bullied, body shamed, slut shamed, backstabbed, dragging herself down because of what anxiety was telling her, chasing pavements but that didn't stop her for aiming high to reach her dreams. At a young age, she writes to express her thoughts. And that's who she still is today. A girl who is not just a musician, a poet, an artist, a student, a fangirl but also a friend to everyone.

Writing became her passion, not just because she can express thoughts to make people feel sentimental, sad or loved but also she became herself again. It's been a hard time to accept that you're beautiful within and on the outside, it takes patience to let go of her comfort zone but she did it with the help of her parents. This is lovingly dedicated to them, they're the heroes.

Remember to love yourself and be a friend.

And now she writes.

"Growing up will never be easy. During my childhood, I've always told everyone that I wanted to be just like my mother. She is a medical nurse who worked in the USA alongside with my father. I was born in Virginia but she raised me in Buckinghamshire from the UK whilst my father worked overseas because we had financial problems. We would go to toy stores to buy Barbie or Bratz dolls and we would eat ice cream together. Regardless of our situation, we would always stick with each other. And that's how I saw her as someone inspiring. Someone so brave, hardworking and lovable. So, when they asked me on who I wanted to be in the future.. I automatically mentioned mum.

As I grow older, I've always proudly announced that someday I'll be a doctor, a person who would work in hospitals or clinics to treat those who are in need of a cure. I was ambitious, I wanted to be that doctor who can find a cure to a rare and deadly disease. So, I would always get my mum's stethoscope and place it on my brother's chest, pretending I was listening to his steady heartbeat. Years have passed by, and things have changed..

Now, I'm almost nineteen years old and I hated growing up. It all became confusing. It feels that if it was only yesterday that when I had no worries and regrets. I would do the same thing everyday. My routine consisted of waking up, exercising, eating cereal with my brother, take a shower, either paint or play one of my instruments, eat lunch again with my brother, scroll through my Instagram feed or take a nap, watch shows from the telly and ended up eating supper and having a seven-hour sleep. I didn't continue attending college because I have to work and to be able to sacrifice for my brother and at the same time, I would go to the US anytime soon.

Unfortunately, I was done. I am stuck here, not knowing what else to do but to anxiously wait for the right time to leave the country. Now, I could look back to where I've started. I was just a small kid, not having to satisfy someone's standards, not having to worry about how I look and not having to give a care about what other people say. I wouldn't have to worry about what my future holds for me. I wasn't obsessed nor anticipating what could happen to me if I changed my ways, my dreams, my responsibilities and my mindset.