Worth Waiting For | Book #2 (ON HOLD)

Chapter 27

And then my heart sunk back down into the reality again that the possibility of us ever getting back together was just that, an impossibility. Josh had never hoped for us to come back together again over the years, despite how much I had done so myself, he just as much confirmed it.

"Maybe it's probably time you get back to Madison, I'm assuming she doesn't know where you are right now." I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me right now, and if that meant bringing up the reality of his fiancé back home, then so be it.

"It's not like I didn't think about you Savannah." I shuffled back against the couch under his heavy gaze, needing the escape from where this conversation was going. "We were good together, we always were. How do you think a perfect girl like Riley exists if it weren't for the both of us together?"

"This isn't something we need to talk about right now"

He looked into my eyes again yet seemingly pressing his lips closed to stop himself from saying something he truly wanted to. "We need to talk about it at some point."

It, being us ending and where we go from here.

We shared a daughter, one that was being kept a secret from his fiancé and his family. He may have wanted the time to spend with her, but with that, comes the fact that life isn't black and white. Not all families follow the nuclear version of what a family should be in society. And ours just happened to be one of them.

"I missed you."

The words, alcohol-induced, were spoken before I had the chance to take it back. But then I knew I couldn't take back something I truly meant.

"I missed you too."

He relaxed, drawing his body closer to mine as if our instincts were in more control than we were.

Josh was always my home.

He was always the first person I used to see in the morning and the last person I would see at night. He was the best part of my life and sometimes the worst. But at the end of the day, he was one of the many soulmates I believe a person has in their life. There was never a choice between loving him or not, my heart was always drawn to his like a moth to a flame.

We both mirrored positions with similar smiles, resting our heads against our palms with propped elbows up onto the head of the couch. We were closer than before, having been drawn together mostly by the glasses of alcohol we continued to fill.

"What do we do, Josh? How do we continue with this?" I spoke, predominantly referring to co-parenting the daughter we shared.

"Are you going to be staying in New York?"

"I love the city and I love my job, but that's not saying I won't eventually move away when I settle down."

"I want to be wherever Riley goes."

"That might not always be possible with Madison, and your job and—"

"Wherever Riley goes."

I pressed my palm against my lips in an attempt to hide the smile. Everything he was saying was tipping me further and further into the black hole I once found myself in called Joshua Parker. There was a silent agreement between the both of us, and as simple as it sounded on paper, I couldn't understand how I would ever manage to live around Josh for the rest of my life and watch him be happy with someone else.

It'd already been four years and I knew now that I loved him just as much as I did before. I would be torturing myself for a lifetime, standing at the sidelines and watching someone else fall in love with the person I so desperately wanted to be with. Tipping my head back, I took a long and defeated breath. "I don't know how possible that will be, Josh."

"What do you mean?"

And yet when my eyes returned back to his, I found the glimmer of hope I had wished to see on the day that he left me.

"I need to do something, Savannah." He leaned forwards again, the inches between us losing their strength with every movement.

"You can't." My voice was a quiet whisper and yet I did nothing to move myself away from the temptation.

I knew exactly what he needed to do. The fire behind his features were drawing closer, creating a heat between us and consuming every crevice of my being. My heart had been lonely for so long and he was bringing his own closer, igniting the familiar comfort I felt whenever he was near.

He stopped just a mere few centimetres away, his eyes darting down before finding my eyes again. I watched slowly as his tongue licked his lips, craving my touch just as much as I craved his.

I took a deep breath before speaking again. "If you kiss me right now—it changes everything."

He didn't stutter, didn't even breath for one more moment before his reply came.

"I don't care."

And then his lips collided with mine, creating an abundance of senses through my body. I allowed my hands to leave the couch and the glass down on the table before reaching up and tracing his jaw and cheeks as if the memory were hot to touch.

The fragrant wine hit my senses as it tickled my tongue while his own delved through my lips. My heart attacked the walls of my chest, aching to reach out and touch his own.

I knew what we were doing was wrong. The alcohol was the confounding variable bringing us both together, paired with our extensive history and the familiar warmth he brought my body with his lips alone.

But Josh was my home, and he always would be.