Baby Brother

Why Did You Leave?

            Gabriel and Balthazar walked into the room and Cas looked up at them,

            “How’re you feeling Cassie?” Gabriel asked.

            “I’m in pain and please don’t call me that,” Cas replied.

            “You’re chest hurting?” Balthazar asked.

            “Yes, but I don’t now why,” Cas said.

            “I haven’t changed the bandages yet today,” Gabriel said, “Lie back little brother.” Cas did as he was told with some hesitation and Gabriel started undoing the shirt.

            “What happened to me?” Cas asked when he saw the bandages.

            “As far as we can tell it was an angel blade,” Balthazar said,

            “But I thought you said it was a demon curse?” Cas questioned.

            “It was a demon curse that kept you unconscious,” Gabriel explained, “We’re thinking you were probably attacked by an angel after the curse was put on you which is why you don’t remember it.”

            “Oh,” Cas said, looking thoughtful. Suddenly, he hissed in pain as Gabriel accidentally pressed on one of his wounds.

            “Sorry little bro,” he said.

            “Why haven’t they healed yet?” Cas asked, “You said I’ve been unconscious for over a month, they should be healed by now.”

            “We think the demon curse slowed down the healing process,” Balthazar said, “Now you’re awake they should start to heal faster.”

            “So,” Gabriel said as he rewrapped Castiel’s chest, “What’s going on in that big head of yours?”

            “You left,” Cas murmured and Gabriel and Balthazar both froze.

            “What?” Balthazar asked, sure he had heard Cas wrong.

            “You left, both of you,” Cas said, “I didn’t know what to do or why you had left. In my dream I just kept reliving it. Every bad thing: you both leaving, Dean angry with me, everything. But mostly it was you two. Whenever it was Dean angry with me I could get through it because Dean never stays angry with me. He’s always forgiven me even when I don’t deserve it and when he is angry with me he still helps me.” He paused, wiping away the tears that were flowing freely again.

            “But I didn’t know why you two left,” he continued, “One day I just woke up and you were gone… I was alone. I know it is ridiculous to feel this human emotion after all this time, but I don’t what else to feel.” Gabriel and Balthazar exchanged looks, both of them shocked at what Cas had said.

            “Cas,” Balthazar said, feeling very out of his element. It had been a long time since he had had to comfort his younger brother.

            “I’m sorry,” Gabriel said an Cas and Balthazar both looked at him, “I’m so sorry Castiel. When I left you were still a fledgling and I wanted to stay and protect you, but I couldn’t. After everything that happened with Michael and Lucifer. I couldn’t stay. And I’m sorry that my leaving hurt you like it did.” Gabriel had moved so he was standing next to the bed and put his hand on Cas’ shoulder. Cas unconsciously leaned into the touch and reached up to grip Gabriel’s jacket. The archangel wrapped his arms around his baby brother and held him in a way he hadn’t since Cas was a child.

            “I’m sorry too,” Balthazar said, “And you know I mean it cause I never apologize.” Castiel chuckled, thinking how thankful he was that Dean had convinced him to talk to his brothers.

            “I felt it was best for me to leave… Those bastards didn’t deserve the weapons and I thought by taking them and faking my own death it would be safer for everyone.”

            “But why didn’t you take me with you?” Cas asked, looking between his brothers.

            “You were only a child Castiel,” Gabriel said gently, “The life I was going to live wasn’t something you could have dealt with.”

            “It would have been better than staying after you left. I thought Heaven and the angels were all good. But they’re not, and it wasn’t until I left and stayed with Dean and Sam that I realized this,” Cas said.

            “Our lives wouldn’t have been good for you Cas,” Gabriel said, “The hardest part of leaving was leaving you behind.”

            “Besides,” Balthazar smiled, “If you had left Heaven before you meant to then you may not have met the two chuckleheads downstairs.” Cas nodded, starting to understand what his brothers were saying.

            “Think you can find it in you to forgive us, my practically human brother,” Gabriel chuckled, poking Cas’ side.

            “Yes I believe so,” Castiel replied seriously, “But don’t leave again.”

            “We won’t,” Balthazar said, “I mean, bloody hell, can you imagine how Dean-o would react if we left you?”

            “I’d kick your ass,” a voice from the doorway said and Cas looked up to see Dean standing there.

            “Sorry, it was taking a long time and I wanted to make sure Cas was alright,” Dean said, stepping into the room.

            “I’m fine Dean,” Cas said.

            “We’ll be downstairs updating Samskwatch and Singer on how this one is doing,” Gabriel said as he and Balthazar left.

            “So how are you really?” Dean asked.

            “I’m fine,” Cas replied, “And thank you.”

            “For what?” Dean asked in confusion.

            “For making me talk to them,” Cas replied, “It was very refreshing. But I am still curious about one thing, what was it you wanted to tell me?” Dean smiled and leaned forward…