Reese Lavek ⚥ S. Smythe | ✓ (EDITING)

43~ The Cold Hearted Snake

This was not going well, for me or for Rachel. I swear, if she has a bun in the oven, I'm going to bust Brody's pair with a blow torch.

Finally, Rachel came out of the doctor's office looking relieved. I dropped my magazine and stood up from the very uncomfortable couch.

"Well?" I asked.

"False alarm. Thank God, I'm so happy. I'm so glad this is all over with." she said and hugged me. 

"Trust me I'm as thrilled as you are. Which means Brody's not going to mysteriously be murdered in his sleep tonight." I joked.

"Thank you so much for taking me here today." she said.

"Of course. You okay now? No baby?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Alright I'm going to go to class." she said, then started heading for the door.

"Woah, woah. Hold on a minute." I grabbed her wrist, "That's it? That's all you have to say about this?" I asked.

"Well, the doctor gave me the all-clear. What else is there?" she asked.

"Rachel, you could've been pregnant. You can't just blow past this like nothing ever happened. This is a wake-up call. This is an opportunity to take good hard look at the choices that you're making, where your life is heading. Starting with Wax Male Figure." 

-

Later that day, I came back from school to find the entire apartment empty, except for Rachel, with a whole load of Brody's stuff was on the table.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. It looks like Barbie Ken Doll's crap is still here. And if Barbie Ken Doll's crap is still here, then that means that he must be here as well." I said and took his jacket off the table, then dropping it on the floor.

"Lay off it Reese. Okay? I told you, he said that he got a job as a cater waiter on the side and he was embarrased about it, so he kept it a secret." Rachel called from her bedroom.

"Really? A cater waiter makes that much a night? He must get way more in tips then I ever get in my paycheck. I mean, if he can make that much cash slicing sweaty cold cuts and room temp champagne, then we should all apply there." I said and pulled off my coat.

"Look, he's just trying to make it in New York, just like the rest of us. I don't understand why that is so hard for you to understand. You keep trying to bring him down!" she snapped at me while pulling on her coat.

"Alright, at this point, it's less about him than it is about you. I went to school with Rachel Berry. Not the soggy mess of a woman that stands before me today, going back and forth between your high school ex and the creepy 'waiter with a pager'." I said. Rachel crossed her arms and gave me a cold look.

"You need to stop and focus. I'm just trying to look out for you." I said.

"I think you're wrong about him." she replied.

"My psychic foster child third eye is never wrong. Am I wrong about you?" and with that, I walked away into the bathroom. Brody was in the shower, singing some kind of song that made me want to cover my ears to. I sifted through his things, until I found his pager, then I snuck back out.

-

"Five, six, seven, eight." this was the inside of a fine arts school? Makes me miss McKinely. But there was Brody, teaching Ms. July's dance class because I hear she's hungover...again.

"Come on, guys, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please. This is not gonna cut it with Cassie, okay? Let's do it from the top."

"Just don't get too close girls, unless you're immune to the herps." I cut in. Brody sighed and told the dancers to take a break, for now he had to deal with me.

"How did you get in here?" he asked me.

"Don't apply logic to Lavek. And if what I just saw is any indication, I can get in here any time I want. I got move you manufactued mannequin ass couldn't handle." I replied with a smug smile.

"You know what your problem is Reese? You're annoying and you're rude, and you think that your attitudes equal to talent." he said.

"Another thing I am: a hardcore friend. Rachel, Kurt, and Santana are my family, and I can smell your sketchiness from here. So let me tell you how it's gonna be. You are going to move out of our apartment tonight, or, I can dig a little deeper and destroy you." I replied.

"You're all talk and no proof." he said.

"Don't need proof. I know exactly what you are. Yo Fly Girls, can I get some back-up? If you're any kind of dancer this one should in your bones." I then walked over to the stereo, with my phone, and plugged it into the speaker.

"He's a cold-hearted snake 

Look into his eyes 
Oh oh oh 
Girl don't play the fool--no 
You're the one givin' up the love 
Anytime he needs it 
But you turn your back and then he's off and runnin' with the crowd 
You're the one to sacrifice 
Anything to please him 
Do you really think he thinks about you when he's out 
He's a cold-hearted snake 
Look into his eyes 
Oh oh oh 
He's been tellin' lies 
He's a lover boy at play 
He don't play by rules 
Oh oh oh 
Girl don't play the fool--no 
It was only late last night 
He was out there sneakin' 
Then he called you up to check that you were waiting by the phone 
All the world's a candy store 
He's been trick or treatin' 
When it comes to true love girl with him there's no one home 
He's a cold-hearted snake 
Look into his eyes 
Oh oh oh 
He's been tellin' lies 
He's a lover boy at play 
He don't play by rules 
Oh oh oh 
Girl don't play the fool--no 
You could find somebody better girl 
He's c-cold as ice
As cold as ice
He’s cold as ice
He’s cold as ice
Stay away from him girl
C-c-c-cold hearted uh, ah, ah
C-c-c-cold hearted sssnake
He's a cold-hearted snake 
Look into his eyes 
Oh oh oh 
He's been tellin' lies 
He's a lover boy at play 
He don't play by rules 
Oh oh oh --Girl don't play the fool—no
Into his eyes 
Oh oh oh 

He's a cold-hearted snake"

Let's just say, Brody looked sh*t pissed.

"Pack your bags dummy, you're out of here."