Beautiful drug

The truth comes out

AN/ I'm so sorry for the long wait guys. I haven't given up in this story, but it's been a difficult and very busy few months! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQS

Emma sat at a bar in the middle of New York that afternoon, after she and Regina had parted ways. She sat in a dark corner, swirling her third whiskey neat around in the glass before swallowing the rest of it, relishing in the burn that it caused going down her throat. She sat the glass down and she placed a hand over her mouth as she stared blankly, with watery eyes, bloodshot eyes, at the empty spot across from her.

To say the blonde was fucked was a complete understatement. Her eyes shut tightly as flashes of soft tan skin and searing kisses filled her mind followed by the images of the autopsy report and suddenly she felt like she needed to throw up, again. Waving over the bartender Emma ordered a double this time and once it was sat in front of her she took a long, healthy drink before setting it down.

She was off in her own world and at the moment, she didn't care where she was or who wanted something from her. She was going to hopefully drink until she couldn't remember anything. It would happen this way... just when Emma had gotten her life together, had a great job in a fantastic city... she'd fall for someone she could never have. The thought of it made her sick and made her heart ache. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have let Regina get so close, she fucking slipped in without Emma even allowing it and now... now Emma would either end up in jail... and probably dead, or she would be killed by Regina's gang for deceiving their leader.

Emma's phone vibrated in her pocket and she fished it out drunkenly looking at the screen, she didn't have her work phone, so it wasn't a surprise when she saw a picture of her and Regina flashing on her screen, alerting her to Regina wanting her attention. Emma snorted tossing the phone on the table and she shook her head rubbing her forehead as angry tears fell down her cheeks.

"It's not polite to ignore people when they're calling you." That velvety voice rang through Emma's ears and her eyes closed tighter. She had to be going crazy, right? "When my girlfriend goes to a bar, and gets drunk in the middle of the day in this town... I'll know about it" Regina said sliding into the booth across from Emma and looking at her with a face full of concern.

Emma's eyes finally opened, broken green eyes met concerned brown ones and Regina's breath caught in her chest, "Emma... what is going on?" She asked leaning forward to take the blondes hands into her own which only made Emma wince, heart clench, throat tighten, and more tears come. "Let's just say... i did a background check of my own." She said rubbing her forehead and downing the rest of her drink.

At those words Regina's face became unreadable but her eyes showed that she was nervous, and she was definitely upset. "I see... well, In that case, let me order us both something a bit stronger." She commented waving the waitress down and offering them both a shot is absinthe and a glass of whiskey keeping her brown eyes locked on Emma.

They both took the shots and Emma shook her head, shoulders slumped over "How could you do this?" She asked with a broken tone. "I thought... you seemed so different, I never in my life would have pegged you for a... ringleader" she said waving her hand with a frown on her face. "You kill people! How could you do something like that?! How can you take someone's family member, or lover away from them!" She asked lowly and reigns downed the glass of whiskey before ordering herself another.

"Emma it isn't all black and white simple as that!" She tried to reason, leaning forward to take her hand. "This is the life I grew up in, the only life I've known." She said quietly with sad brown eyes. "It's either I kill them, or they kill me... and I just found you, I'm not ready to lose you!" She exclaimed. Moving around the booth Regina slid in next to Emma, causing the blonde to move all the way back against the wall, but that didn't stop the brunette.

Regina slid closer to her until she was pressed against her side, her hand taking Emma's "please don't run away from me Emma... I'm not ready to lose you. I care about you, so much, I can Be good i swear it." She said even though she had no intention of doing that. The words only made Emma cry hated, and she was already drunk so it was the emotions and the alcohol mixing together.

"This is such bull shit." She sobbed quietly looking at her with heart broken eyes. "My entire life... all I wanted was a family Regina. I never had that. Never in my life have I had someone love me, take care of me, or want to keep me around. I was shuffled from home to home, abused in every way known to mankind and I blocked all forms of love coming into my life!" She declared wiping her eyes. "Then I met you! I didn't want to fall in love with you! I never wanted to fall in love with anyone! My heart can't take any more goddamn heartbreak!" She nearly shrieked, her voice cracking with emotion.

Regina's heart broke at the words, she could see the pain in Emma's green eyes, she could hear it in the words she spoke, and if she had it her way, each family that hurt Emma would pay. "Emma... you can't control who you fall for anymore that you can change the color of the sky." She told her reaching out to wipe the tears off of Emma's face. "I didn't want you to know about this life, I wanted to keep you from it because I want to be with you... I feel like this could be the real deal and I don't want to mess this up." She told the blonde.

"Can't we just run away, somewhere far away from here, where we can start a new life?!" She asked desperate for her answer to be yes. "You don't need this life Regina! You could be good, with a good job and we could be happy!" She drunkenly slurred to the brunette who looked at her with sad eyes. "I wish that was a possibility but even if I wanted to, this life would find me Emma... it's not as simple as up and leaving it all behind!" She said frustrated, downing another whiskey and rubbing her temples.

"You don't know that! You won't even consider trying it if it means being safe somewhere, somewhere we could maybe actually be happy without worrying about gang members or god forbid the police department!" She said exasperated. Regina sighed deeply, annoyance, frustration, and sadness washed over the brunette amongst other emotions she wasn't too familiar with, like love, and for the first time... regret... and right now she was full of regret. Emma truly deserved better than her but she loved the blonde.

"I can't make you any promises Emma, I can't say we could or could not run off into the sunset and live happily ever after. But you have to look at this for what it is! This is real life, this isn't a fairytale." she said sadly.

Emma groaned and shook her head, she was always one for being stubborn. "Fucking Christ Regina." She whispered, hiding her face in her hands as frustrated tears spray free. "I'm sorry.. I can't.. I can't be with someone who's killing people." She said trying to move around her but the brunette grabbed her arm and she pulled her down into her lap. "Emma please..." she begged, this time her voice cracked and she looked so utterly vulnerable.

"What if I promise I don't kill anyone anymore. I won't have any involvement. I know you love me too... yes it fast and it's stupid but I know there's a connection here. I know we are real and you can try to run all you want but I will chase you. I won't give you up." She said fiercely and those words made Emma sob. Her head fell to rest drunkenly beneath Regina's chin and the tears fell fast and hard down her cheeks. What the fuck was she going to do?!