Uneven {Lams}

Chapter Two

John Pov
The date with Martha Manning went surprisingly well considering I don't like her in that way whatsoever. She's a good person but I don't want to get with her out of pity. I think that'd be a little fucked up.

"Hey asshole,"
I said, greeting Alex as I walked into the dorm.

He flipped me off and kept watching the infomercial with furrowed eyebrows.

"Do you think that vacuum could fit it my ass?" He asked, seemingly more to himself than me.

"I'd like to see you try," I said, raising an eyebrow and sitting down on our shitty couch.

"I doubt you want to see me put a vacuum in my ass." Alex said.

"It won't be the weirdest thing I've seen you do," I said.

Alex opened his mouth to retaliate then I saw the gears turning in his head and he close his head, nodding a bit and muttered, "Fair enough."

I scoffed and asked,
"Don't you have homework?"

"Finished it about two weeks ago. Come on Laurens, you know me better than this." Alex replied, his eyes glued on the stupid ass vacuum infomercial, like he was seriously considering putting it in his ass.

"If you finished it two weeks ago then what the hell do you do in the library all the time?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't spend that much time in the library but it's easier to lie about that then saying I'm walking around campus talking to myself." He replied with a shrug.

"You talk to yourself..?"
I trailed off.

"Well I'm the only person I can get a intellectual conversation out of so, yes. Though I must admit, you're quite the genius." He said, glancing to me for a second.

"..Thanks."
I muttered, looking back to the TV.

Alex sighed and said.
"Anyway, how was the straight date? Oh shit that rhymed." Alex asked.

"She's really nice. I'm still not straight and I don't really want to be, but she was nice." I shrugged.

"Who woulda guessed that you're still gay."
Alex muttered.

Then he looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Oh right. Me."

I glared at him, flipping him off with exactly zero fucks given. I'm not sure when Alex and I started to playfully bully each other but I'm glad it happened because otherwise I wouldn't be able to flip him off.
Which is vital.

Alex's phone beeped and he glanced at it, eyes widening.

"Look, Erm..If a guy comes to the door asking for me tell him I'm in Sweden." Alex said, going to the bathroom.

"Do I want to ask?" I called after him.
"Trust me, you don't." Alex said.
I gave a short nod.

Not too long after, I heard a knock at our door.

I smirked and got up, answering it. "Yess?" I asked.

The man glared at me and growled,
"Is Alex here?"

"Whats it to you?" I asked.

"That fucking street rat stole my wallet." He hissed.

I snickered, mentally applauding Alex. "Nah, man he's in Sweden." I said.

"He was in New York thirty minutes ago!" The man exclaimed.

"Yeah, well now he's in Sweden."
I deadpanned, closing the door and locking it .

"A wallet Alex?" I asked as he came out of the bathroom.

And sure enough, Alex reached into his pocket and pulled out a wallet.

"You're an idiot,"
I muttered.

"You say that like you're not. Besides, this guy was being an ass to a few people so I talked to him for a bit, and you know..swiped him." Alex told me, sitting down on the couch.

"How was he being an asshole?"
I asked.

"Racist, sexist, called a guy wearing make up gay, and was just being an ass in general. So I took his wallet."
Alex shrugged.

"That's nice. And another thing, when's the last time either of us went to the store?" I asked.

"Well you know I don't usually eat here so that's sort of on you my man." Alex said.

"Where do you go if you're not here?"
I asked.

"Places. I'm quite the interesting person you know," Alex hummed.

"Yeah whatever." I muttered.

"Oh and get this, I stole his wallet and his brass knuckles," Alex told me, going to his room and getting his backpack.

He rummaged through it for a minute and then pulled out the brass knuckles, handed it to me, and then the guys wallet.

"Why did you do this?" I deadpanned.

"Well I told you already and because I was bored." Alex said.

"You know what most people do when they're bored?" I asked.

"No, enlighten me."
Alex said with a smirk.

"Well go be honest I ain't to sure but I know for a fact it ain't going around stealing shit." I said, examining the wallet.

"You say that like you've never stole before," Alex muttered.

"Never said that. I said normal people." I repeated.

"Oh like the difference between you and a normal person is so large,"
Alex said.

"Fuck off," I said, tossing the wallet back to him.

"Gladly," He said, putting the shit back in his bag and going into his room.

I could tell you we just fought, but that's not the truth. Alex and I have only fought once, and in the end we both were incredibly sorry despite what we said.

Alex and I have never been good at the whole emotion thing and we never will.