Hamilton Fanart Book!

More ranting...

*ranting*

I'm wearing a short shirt right now...so like whenever I lift my arms you can see my stomach. And, uh, I'm feeling really self-conscious about that. I spend a lot of my time body-shaming myself. I mean, I mentioned that I'm chubby, I have the average thick-thighs, flab, double chin, round stomach, the whole package of chubbiness. I don't even eat 3 meals a day, and when I do it's not much. Because I body-shame myself I don't get hungry anymore. I'm losing weight now, but I'm still self-conscious. I also grew too fast, like by third grade I was wearing training bras. IN FIFTH GRADE I NEEDED B CUPS. This caused stretch marks, my arms, my hips, my chest area, I'm just so sick of it. The doctor says it's normal, and that when I get taller the marks will fade, and my fat will stretch, but I don't believe it. I want to, but I don't. On top of this crap I've got acne!!! I just hate my body so much, I'm not comfortable in a bathing suit, and I LOVE to swim! My mom has no shame, she's fatter than me(compared to her I'm pretty skinny), she doesn't give a crap what other people think! She doesn't understand why I hate shorts, and wearing tank-tops. She just doesn't understand. The other I wore a skirt, and I was comfortable! I loved it! I had so much confidence! I just, wish I had that much confidence every day. I wish I had a pretty face, I wish I had smooth skin, I wish I was skinny.

Thanks for reading this crap. Thanks for the support and everything. And I'm sorry for ranting I just needed to get it out of my system.