The Gambler, the Thief, and the Black-market Boss

Chapter Four: The Horridly Nonsensical!

"I see...can you stop boiling me now?"

"Kid, you've got twenty centuries left before you're judged again to see if you're worthy for Heaven."

"I thought I was 'eternally damned'?"

Kakkri waved his arm. "Some upstarts in the Lands of Nightmares won a case. Some BS about how people change and that torturing them for all of eternity is a cruel and unusual punishment. Though as a side-effect, we don't have to spend as much money creating land that can be used to torture. They started to lower the taxes!"

"You have to pay taxes?"

"Why does every human think we don't pay taxes?"

"Well, you're generally portrayed as savage, bloodthirsty monsters who don't care for civilized society."

"Generally?"

"Well, modern authors have started to romanticize demons a lot."

"Well, it'll happen eventually to all civilizations."

"...I don't even want to know."

"Yeah, you really don-"

Another demon ran over to Kakkri, interrupting him. It whispered something in his ears and Kakkri's eyes widened. He turned back to Mizuki.

"Looks like you're getting a little break. Stay in the water. I'll be back in a bit."

Mizuki watched, confused, as Kakkri hurriedly walked away.

"I wonder what's going on..."

-/_\-

Over to Naruto:

"Er...what do we do with her?" Naruto asked hesitantly, gesturing to Naya.

Hiruzen Sarutobi sighed. "We wait."

"For what?"

"For Fugaku to get his a- er, butt in here and explain what's going on."

Naruto nodded, pretending that he didn't hear the slip of words. "Also, what are you working on?"

"PINK FLUFFY UNICORN!"

"This is concerning the water crisis in Konoha's southernmost district, Fushigina Basho."

"I thought the southernmost district was Okina hi."

"Well it is, but most people refer to it as Fushigina Basho these days..."

"Okay then. What's wrong with the water there?"

"Well, the water there has this odd, yellow-ish look to it. At first, we thought it was rusty pipes or a lead imbalance, but nope. Turns out someone threw hundreds of gallons of food coloring into the Ha River."

"Why would someone do that?"

"Probably to cause unrest in the Village. We've informed the residents there that the water is completely safe for drinking but many still refuse to. Now I need to figure out if it's worth it to have all that water cleaned...on a related note, the bottled water industry is getting popular."

"I...see. Is this what you do every day?"

The Hokage sighed, absentmindedly stroking Naya's hair (which was, by the way, incredibly soft). "Pretty much. I answer stupid requests and listen to the 'esteemed council members' fight. A lot."

Naruto winced. While he was well acquainted (and maybe, possibly friends) with quite a few council members (both Shinobi and Civilian), he knew having them all in one room and listening to them fight over important topics could not be good for your sanity.