Find Her, Keep Her (CFTM Sequel)

Chapter 45 (Part 2)

"You mean the one with the gold edges?"

"Yeah, and those little birds painted on the rim."

Dan stares out the kitchen window like he can see a giant plate hovering in the sky.

"Why do you know about that?"

Dan straightens out his glasses and looks away from me.

"About what?"

"Her favorite dinner set. Only I know about that. And maybe Tanner, too. She only ever brings that out on our birthdays."

His Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

"Oh. Um. Well, she asked me to choose between the two earlier. Before you and Alex got here. Anyway, speaking of Alex, where's our lady of honor? You should probably go check on her, huh?"

Dan normally isn't a very sweaty person. He's the type who maintains his chill even in situations where there is no chill left to have. But right now, he's sweating through his suit jacket. I can smell it mixed in with whatever cheap middle-aged man cologne he has on. He also doesn't usually wear cologne.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel like he's off. Way off.

But when it comes to choosing between figuring out whatever the balls is going on with Dan vs. seeing my girl in another dress. I'd choose my girl every time. Real talk.

"I'll be right back, don't break anything or else--"

"She'll murder me, I know," he says.

Smiling.

He obviously doesn't know what the back end of one of my mom's wooden spoons feels like. If he's careful, he won't ever find out.

I scramble to finish setting Jersey's place at the table and then grab my backpack out of the living room on my way upstairs. The wood still creeks the same way it did when I used to sneak in on nights I'd stay out late to avoid Mindy. Every single thing in this place is a trigger. From the faint smell of the new layer of paint we used to cover up what was supposed to be my daughter's room, to the sight of the upstairs hallway I used to dread walking down.

I swallow the tension rising in my throat and push open the door to the guest room me and Mindy used to sleep in. I spent almost nine months lying next to a woman I never wanted to touch. Even though everyone expected me to. Even though she wanted me to. I couldn't do it.

For a while she tried to get me to. She'd try touching me and teasing me into wanting her, but I couldn't. Nothing below the belt responded to her no matter how many times she tried. I'd lie there and wait for her to stop.

To give up.

And eventually she did.

But I shouldn't have even let her try in the first place, 'cause now all I have are memories of what we did in that room. The same room I'm supposed to be sharing with Jersey later tonight. The same bed with all my secrets under the sheets.

"Maria? Is that you? Can you help me with the back of this, I--"

Jersey steps out into the hallway wearing a ruby satin dress that knocks the wind out of me the second I see her in it.

"Que linda," I say. This girl's got me so messed up I'm speaking in Spanish about her again. She flashes a little smile my way, and then turns around and points to the back of her dress.

"Two questions. Number one: who's Linda? and Number two: do you mind helping me with my dress?"

"Linda means beautiful and si."