NeverLeaveMyHeart (Never Die Alone)

Part 5.Memerable Past

(Alexander POV) Like the teacher said i showed up for detention hahahha not! i so ditched it i didn't want to be in that room alone with him nor did i wanna listen to him just like any other rebelling teenager like they say even though i wasn't this was just how i was hahaha deal with the shit I wasn't changing how I act for anyone so yeah I walked along beside the school looking at the teacher who was waiting I couldn't help but laugh sadly at him sitting their so stupid like the old man he was thinking i was actually going to show for this detention i walked past leaving the school......i was thinking as i was walking for some reason all of a sudden about my past and how i became this way and why its due to my mother and father all because of THEM! ughhh i couldn't stand them at all it sickened me to know i was there son i also thought about all the things i did growing up that just over the years made my parents really mad at me but it was like who cares anyway they didn't care about me so why should i care what i do that makes them look bad cuz through my eyes they deserved it for how they were as parents which was just a word you could describe has horrible wanna know why? lets go down memory lane to reveal my memorable past. The day my mom found out she was pregnant with me she tried to kill me right then and there all because she didn't want a child at the time but her mother my grandma convinced her to keep me sadly i think i would have been better off dead then after i was born i supposivly was a big disappointment to the family because i wasn't the son they wanted because i was born differently then how a boy was suppose to act my mother use to neglect me but them a/l a sudden would act nice around me when company was over or so i hated so much i really wanted to die being alive when i was young with them was not all rainbows and glitter it was my nightmare from hell that's what it was when i was 5 my parents both betrayed me even deeper then i thought they would they did something i didn't even know they would stoop to which was sell me to men so they could get their drugs they would do which is how i became gay was being raped all the time til i was like 10 they stopped using me to get their drugs and the would abusive me AGAIN!! i mean come on how fucked up could they be and because of them i use to start doing drugs use to still trying to stop and stuff and i use to sleep around but now that i really cant stop doing that was like a bigger drug to me any hottie that came near me i would turn into a slut almost immortally without thinking it wasn't my fault it was because of my abusive parents they destroyed any hopes for me of having a perfect life because when i would try they found out and destroyed it fast like a hurricane hitting a small town that tried to survive in this world i just wanted to die so many times i did try to kill myself failed though cuz my friend would stop me so now i have scars and marks from me trying all those years yeah i'm something huh which is why i tell people not to get involved with me but they don't listen then get hurt but i also try to not get involved with them to much basically a hit it and quit it thing i know i'm a horrible person but i don't care what you think of me i choose this life since i cant change it even though that's what i believe to save my life even if i wanted to....my whole life has been hell i lived in hell and i learned to accept it and just welcome it like a mans semen in my mouth....sorry my mind went dirty for a while there hahaha that's one character of me that's so nasty i have a little reputation because of it hahaha at times i'm always looked down upon by my peers my parents and even outsiders who i don't know it hurts its painful but i live through it everyday slowly but painfully i try and over come it one step at a time so basically my life has just not been something i always loved i hated it so much it was just a usual thing with me...but you know i haven't thought of those memories in a long time even though those aren't all my memories i think i'd just like to remember those memories only for the time being as i snapped out of my thought i realized i was in front of my house my god forsaken house......my memorable past hmmm something i just never really thought about in a long time i looked up at my door and walked inside only to be greeted with a hand to my face and a heel as sharp as a knife to my stomach hehehehe man this shit never gets old....i thought as i all a sudden blacked out from all the welcoming blows that contacted with my body from my parents....