Sanders Sides Appreciation Month 2018

Roman/Creativity, Day 6 - Love and Lies.

Summary: Patton thinks Roman has been lying to him and that he no longer lover him. Roman has been lying to him but he still loves him.

For the prompt: "You don't have to lie, you can be honest with me."

Warnings: lying/keeping secrets (for good reasons not bad), crying, misunderstanding

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"You don't have to lie, you can be honest with me," Patton says softly from his seat beside Roman. Roman's face is almost unreadable but after dating the extravagant man for just under two years Patton knows the signs, knows what to look for, and Roman definitely looks off. There's that and Roman's constant excuses, why he doesn't want to spend time with Patton. All from "I'm just busy now, love" to "I've got some errands to run" and everything in between and beyond.

And it breaks Patton's heart a little that Roman is both lying to him and avoiding him. He knows that Roman might want to break it off with him and he'd be lying himself if he said he did want that but if Roman isn't happy then who is he to keep Roman in an unhappy relationship. Patton really doesn't want to think about the possibility of Roman being in love with someone else though. He blinks away the tears when Roman comes to bed late, assuming Patton is asleep, just like he's trying to hold back the floodgates of tears now.

"I'm not lying, Pat," Roman responds after a beat and that in itself is a lie. Patton just gives him a look of disbelief and Roman seems to wilt, shoulder lowering as his head bows. "I didn't want to have to tell you yet," Roman confesses, a light blush creeping onto his face, and he pauses a little while longer, not wanting to confess too much but he hates that he's worrying Patton so much.

"Please, tell me, Ro," Patton says, turning in his seat to face his boyfriend (or soon to be ex) and takes his hands in his own, thumbing gently over his knuckles, "I hate to think that you're unhappy with me, with our relationship but if you are then we shouldn't drag this out any longer, you have every right to end this if you don't want- if you don't want to be with me." And Roman's head snaps up at Patton's stutter; he's crying, softly and delicately, and Roman thinks he's beautiful but he hates himself for causing this.

"Patton, baby, no," he hurries to reassure him, one hand breaks their hold in favour of wiping Patton's tears from his cheeks. "I'm not breaking up with you, I love you so, so much. More than I can explain in words, my love," Roman babbles, feeling the tears well up in his own eyes at seeing his boyfriend so distraught.

"You're- you're not breaking up with me?" Patton asks, sounding so small and so vulnerable that Roman can't help bringing him into a hug, Patton carefully climbs into his lap, resting his head against Roman's shoulder as he tries to stifle his crying. Roman stays put and holds him close, pressing his cheek against Patton's head, kissing into his hair softly. "No, darling, I'm not breaking up with you," Roman repeats, "I'm so sorry I've been so distant and- I feel so bad now, baby."

Patton's soft crying eventually stops, and he lifts his head out of Roman's shoulder, trying to brush away his tears from Roman's shirt and then his own cheeks. "Don't feel bad, I overreacted, I'm sorry," Patton says weakly, a small sorry smile gracing his lips, and Roman just shakes his head. "You don't need to be sorry, baby, I was being secretive because, well, I'm planning our two-year anniversary date and-" Roman is cut off with a very loud gasp and a small squeal from his boyfriend still in his lap.

Roman laughs, short but genuine, "let me finish, darling." Patton looks a little embarrassed by his outburst but sits still and waits for the rest of the explanation that he'd been overthinking for weeks now. "And I was planning to propose." Oh. "Oh," Patton says quietly, suddenly feeling very guilty but very glad all at once, and he's crying again his emotions getting the better of him.

"Oh, Patton, no, baby. We don't have to get married if you don't want, I just- I love you very much and thought it was a cute idea, I won't propose if you don't want me to," Roman explains, stumbling over his words and just wanting Patton to stop crying. "No, no, no," Patton babbles over his sobs and sniffles, "I want to marry you so bad and I want it, but I ruined the surprise."

Roman sighs a big sigh of relief before laughing a little at his boyfriend, he cups Patton's face in his hands and looks him in the eye, "well then, you're just going to have to pretend to be surprised, aren't you?" And he does.